FUCK IT ALL

Miami is obviously the only place in the free world where it can be 56 degrees one day and magically in the 80's the next. Needless to say, I feel a bit of a cold coming on. I have decided to blame the weather for my blah feeling today.

I am really tired. I came into school slightly earlier than usual this morning. I have tried to pull up out of my house around 7:30 the past few mornings instead of my usual 8:00a.m. rush. I just feel like I am the person that is in the way. I am one of those people that enjoys the quiet. I am an early riser. I love early morning. I think I get up so early because it is peaceful that time of day. I can listen to Hubby breath while I snuggle up on his back, plan my day out, read, or have a cup of hot tea all alone and get myself ready to face the demons of the day.

Lately, the hustle of my house has started around 7a.m. when MIL's nurse comes in for the day. Hubby and I get dressed for work, give a quick peck on the lips and head off for the day. He looked as me strangely this morning and stopped:

Hubby: You OK?

Me: I'm good.

Hubby: Let's just go back to bed and watch movies all day.

I smiled and pondered that for awhile. The famous "fuck it all day'! Hubby and I had invented the impromptu holiday back when we were dating and just wanted to spend uninterrupted time alone. It did not necessarily need to be a work day (though that made it even better) just any day we wanted to watch movies, and just be the two of us. I need a 'fuck it all' day right now. Just a break from everything. I know that today would be a waste because MIL would call and ask for the unnecessary all day. I would still have to pick the baby up from school, still have to deal with her mother later this evening. A good 'fuck it all day' need for one to be able to do just that, 'fuck it all'.


So I declined, took another peck and headed out the door to face my demons. Lucky for me the FIRST demon I saw was Demonslayer. I sighed. In the back of my head I just do not understand how this child NEVER misses school. I have a theory that the worst demons have the best attendance records. Their parents know they are bad. Hell, they don't want to deal with them either.

So, I sit here and wait for 4 o'clock when the second part of my day will begin. I wait for the morning when I will be able to snuggle on Hubby's back and ask him if he would like to take a 'fuck it all day'.