The Return of Mr. Colorado

Mr. Colorado has been in school now for about a month. I would have thought by now he would be used to the air here, but it really is not happening. Mr. Colorado is lucky enough to sit by my Jesus Calling Demon (JCD). Though she irritates the hell out of me some days, she had the unique ability to make me loose my teacher cool sometimes and burst out laughing.

Yesterday, during reading, JCD yells out EWWWW! Then the fun began. Mr. Colorado had wet his pants. Quite frankly, I am not sure just how much juice this brother had for breakfast, but the Nile River was under his desk and seemingly had run on to JCD's new Nikes. She, needless to say, was not happy, nor was she calling on Jesus.


JCD: MS. GREEN, COLORADO HAS JUST PISSED ON MY SHOES!!

Me: Please don't say pissed.

JCD: Well he did and it is all on my new shoes!

JCD was hot at this point. I couldn't even be that mad at her because they were some really cute pink Nikes...now they had a litte trace of yellow! HAHA!

Me: Did you have an accident, Colorado?

Teacher's can't say pissed, we must use the term accident, even though I think this was more of an "on purpose".


MC: No.

Me: Are you sure?

MC: Yes.

Me: Well, just what is all that on the floor?

JCD: It's PISS, Ms. Green!

Me: Please stop saying that!

JCD: But it is!

Me: Colorado...are you sure?

MC: Yes. I am sure.

Me: OK. Well do you have a drink or something in your bag that may have spilled?

MC: No.

Me: Then just what is that on the floor.

MC: Don't know.

By this time he is standing in front of me and sure enough is pants were not wet.
What the hell?! I was confused, but I would be damned if I was going over to sniff him or the Nile that was under his desk. Not to mention JCD had already scoped that out. I think this child's mother purchased those waterproof stain proof Khaki's that Levis is always talking about. Well, them shits really do work because that Negro was bone dry standing in the river. If you are the mother of a child that wets his pants a lot, this is THE product for you.

Me: Tell the truth. It is OK. Everyone has an accident every now and then.

This is another lie that we must tell as teacher. Quite frankly, by 7 years old, you really shouldn't have this kind of 'accident' anymore. 7 year olds have grown as urine. Actually, JCD is right...that mess that came out of him was piss. MC: Um...yes. I did have an accident.

Me: Well, why didn't you say something?

Wait for it...

MC: I did not think you would notice. I thought it would dry up.


Now I need to call on Jesus!