Ya Ever Wonder?

OK so I took those 2 days off that I pondered over for so long. I know I am going to have to hear some shit when I get back to work, but so far this impromptu vacation has been well worth it.

Yesterday I spend the afternoon with my niece. It was a weird feeling to be back at my old highschool to pick her up. We went to the mall and then to see Idlewild. It is really scary how much that child is like her Aunt. All the way down to being really silly sometimes. Before going to the movie we stopped to have milkshakes with my mom. That was a treat for us both since we rarely see my mom since her move to Mississippi. So after talking with her we headed to the movies. We decided that it would be smart move to go to the restroom before the movie started (obviously small bladders run in the family). I followed her into the restroom without looking at the sign because hell, who would think that an honor student in private school would not know what bathroom to go in. Anyway...as we walk in we notice the urinals on the wall. You would think one of us would have just broke up outta there, but instead we just stood there and looked d confused. "What the hell kinda woman uses this mess?' I said to her. She, with what must be the family look of confusion on her face said " I don't know Aunt. That is strange." And we KEEP going to the stalls. At the same time it hit us...Ok we must have made a mistake and we went running out of bathroom and almost dove into the adjacent ladies room. I am sure some kinda movie security has that foolishness on camera.


Since I have been home I have had a chance to catch up on all the websites I usually don't get a chance to look at while I am working. It is some sadness out in the world. This picture of Aretha is and example of the sadness. Who the hell let her out like this. It is one of my biggest fears that I will look like this as I get old. I really should call Aretha and tell her that she has inspired me to put down the chips and get on a Janet Jackson plan. This mess here is just too much.

Surviving the Storm

I ran all the way home to escape a hurricane that seems to be no more that a good amount of rain, which is what Miami gets on a daily basis. The sad things is that I am really not mad about it. I am also not going to work for the rest of this week because I simply do not feel like the drive back. I could fly since the weather will be fine, I just don't want too. What would be wrong with me just staying here. I read this article yesterday that on big decisions, you should ask yourself questions in 10-10-10. Meaning what would happen in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.

In 10 minutes I would panic. I have never NOT worked before. There was that brief time right after my wedding and I thought I would die. In 10 minutes my husband would be happy because he wants me to stop working and concentrate on having a family with him. In my old age it is something I need to work on.

In 10 months, I would have gone back to school. Probably learned to relax. Grabbed my travel partener and made her go places she really did not want to. I would probably have relaxed enough to have gotten pregnant. If not, I think I would have at least made some positive changes to my work.


In 10 years, I would look back and say that I enjoyed that time off.

Logically, I should stay here.

School is Out!!

It is really sad when I am happy because a natural disaster is coming my way! We are expecting a hurricane to hit Tuesday or Wednesday. So school is out for 2 days. Now, I know it is bad to say that I am happy I won't have to be here, but hell, I am HAPPY I won't have to BE here with these damn crakhead children. I am actually happy to be stuck in my house with no air or TV. Right now that sounds like complete bliss compared to where I am now. Then again, check in a couple days when the Diva has decided that she needs to watch something on tv or do something totally trivial...like bathe.

There is one child in my class that I try not to be too hard on because his home story is like something from a Stephen King novel. I try to give him a little extra love and attention, but all he gives me is an ulcer. My husband told me to quit. I just would feel so guilty leaving the kids...but it has been only 3 weeks. They really would get over it. I guess I have these two days home to make a decision! If I go by how I feel right now, my time here is DONE.

OK....Let me just clarify....

That is not me standing next to MJB in the picture. That is the owner of Carol's Daughter. She and MJB had a meet and greet at a Sephora here in Miami. They are two of my favorite people. Her products are INCREDIBLE! Now the only thing is that I am not quite sure why neither of them decided they wanted to spruce up for this event? Geewhiz...they both looked like they just hopped out of bed and kept steepping to the event. Wow!

MJB

I went to the Mary J. Blidge concert this weekend and I believe that if she is anywhere within a one state radius of where I live I will go again. That woman has a powerful voice. I always knew I enjoyed her music but live she is AMAZING. She has true control of the audience and makes you feel like she happens to be a girlfriend that you are hanging out with and just talking about life.

The funny thing is that the brother's were feeling it too. The just did not want to admit it. I guess the idea was to bring their dates with them in the hopes of getting a coochie credit for later use. We sat next to this guy who wanted to be tough in his Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon shirt. Ever so often a song would hit him and he would jump up only to quickly sit down, fold his arms and look around. Finally, MJB sang "Be Without You" and he just could not hold it in anymore!1 He jumped up and strted singing that song like he was in the damn video. He went straight Antwan in zero to sixty!!

I wonder if he lost any coochie credits for that?

I had a meeting this morning with the crackhead mom of one of my most crackheaded children. See, yesterday this little boy comes to tell me that some kid knocked him in the mouth and his teeth were loose. Now, as much as these kids get on my last nerve, Mother Hen will rear her head and set out to find who knocked my crackbaby in the mouth. He told me it was a boy in another class whose name started with the letter "F". Considering the fact that my school has about 45 classes for him to tell me that he only knows the first name was not helping. "Was he bigger than you?" I asked thinking that it may have been a kid in the older classes. I am not sure what the hell I was thinking because that still would not narrow it down. Not to mention this school has a lot of Haitian and Hispanic students, so with all French names that begin with "F" I was just gonna be sunk if he could not give more detail.
(OK, I don't know who this fool in the picture is, but I thought he was the epitome of crackheadedness so your can feel my pain...WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS HE WEARING! keep reading y'all)

I was really gonna just let this whole mess go because he was not hurt and seemed to be able to function HOWEVER...I had to call his mom because while we were at our hearing exam he hit another student. According to our administration we have a no tolerance policy for hitting and I really thought reporting this would lead to me have 1 blissfull day without this nut. BUT OH HELL NAW, BOBBY...Mommy wants to discuss him and this tooth. She tells me that the other child is in room 3 and she wants me to set up a meeting with him and his mother and the guidance counselor. Can you believe this shit?! Now, I must admit that the kid is bigger that crackbaby, but he is in the room RIGHT NEXT DOOR. How did you not know where this child was? They eat at the same time, go to many of the same activities at the same time. How the hell don't you know who that is? The funny thing is that he was right on 2 things...his is bigger than him and his name does begin with F. Sadly, he could not tell me the name because it is an odd hard name and the child has a lisp. Plus he has 2 loose teeth! HA! She kept going on how no one should hit her child and I am looking at the phone like, "Heffa, you have really lost your damn mind!"

Anyway, suffice it to say that she, the other mother, the two crackbabies and the VP and I all meet this morning to discuss the situation. During the meeting, the mom keeps talking about how much she works with this fool at home. Just to see if she was telling the truth, I decided to ask her if she had received the notices I send home each Friday. "No" how about the fact that he has not turned in the homework this week " I thought it was due on Friday".

Ain't this a bitch?

It says right on the homework pack FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS. That assignments are due daily. So it is official, she and her son, cannot read and comprehend. She even said that she wanted to home school him. He would end up dumber than he is now. The VP on the sly told her that he child had to have some kinda emotional handicap because she nor he really could not be that dumb. She responded by saying that she had medicare and she was not sure.

Sigh....pray for my people,OK?!!!

I have been mad this whole week. I need to get over it. Naw, I can't. See folk at my school feel they can talk AT you any old kinda way. Now see normally, I am a happy go lucky. I let most things slide off my back. I would rather laugh than have a bad moment.

However.....these bitches around here do not play fair!!

I have been known to loose my temper. I have learned over the years when to hold things in and think before speaking. I am losing that skill. The next time one of these people talk all out the side of their neck with some foolishness then I am gonna go NUCLEAR. If you see a mushroom cloud in the horizon, it ain't Taliban it is ME.

It's been a long time...I shouldn'ta left ya....

So it has been a few days since I have posted anything on this site. Quite frankly the only reason is because the children are so dayumn hard to deal with. The parents are harder. I work at a school that has leaped from a D to an A in 3 years. It has taken a lot of hard work, but it has really paid off.

The sad part is the parents.

Something is wrong with these Black folk in Miami. I am really starting to believe it is the heat.

Sadly, Black folk want all the riches that other races have, but for the most part we don't want the work that is involved. I am lucky to work with my grade level. We work together and everyone is concerned about making sure our kids are ready for the next grade level. It is hard. We have to raise voices and challenge the kids more than they expect.

As Will Smith said...'parents just don't understand'. One of my co-teachers came into my room today hot, mad and upset. A parent has told her that the homework that we are giving is too hard. What's really funny is we have not started giving first grade homework yet. We are giving a kindergarten review. Anyway, chica has come up to the school raising all kinds of hell because she says that the work is too hard.

Ain't that a bitch?!

What is she going to do next week when we really get into it? Now, at the end of the year she will be the FIRST one crying that her child did not learn anything. I am sure after they meet with the principal this afternoon, she is going to ask For her child to be switched to another class. It would be in her best interest that it is not my classroom. I really don't have time for the foolishness.

For example, I had one of my students bow up on me. If you are not from down South, you may not know what the hell bow up means. This little knucklehead actually put his hands up and jerk at me like we were going to fight. I mean he was in a stance like he was gonna go all Sugar Ray on a girl. I was amazed. At that point, I had to prove myself. If he got away with this my whole class would be crazy within minutes. So I looked him straight in the face an told him, "BEST BELIEVE I WILL TUSSLE WITH A 6 YEAR OLD!!". He looked at me like I was crazy as did the other teachers in the hall and my students. But don't get it twisted, that he got his little tail back in line with the quickness. With his finger over his lip. And we have not had a problem since.

F + F = A Hell Naw!!

I think there must be a joke in the front office. Each year I get children who have names that rhyme. Last year I had 3 kids with the same name....the only difference is that their parents were really creative with the spelling. This year the names just rhyme....Jahmali and Kamarley. I spend my whole day calling these poor children the wrong name.

Sometimes you learn things while teaching. Things that never really occurred to you. For example, why do people add a prefix or suffix to a perfectly good name. LaTisha when Tisha is a fine name. ShaTonya...why? And adding a Sha, La, or isha to your baby daddy name is not the joint. LaRonaldka is not and never will be a cute name. And why have black folk taken the ' mark and just run with it. Not only do the names have these unnecessary add-on they are also spelled in some foreign language. Example: R'reahyl (Ariel). See how damn unnecessary that is? We have to be so different to the point that we look ignorant. I can just see that child send in a resume and it being thrown away because the employer thought there was a typo on it. Every year I have spent at least 30 minutes with the teachers on my grade level trying to figure out some of the kids names. Sometimes phonetics does not even work. It is sad. Go today and find a black woman and tell her that she needs to come up with a normal baby name. On second thought don't. She will kick your ass.


And why do two folk who think know they were F students get together. If you are an if (and you know that you are c'mon) you cannot get with another F and try to make an A baby. The most you can probably do (and that is with the help of a lot of recessive genes) is to get a D. Maybe even a low C. I have a couple parents who are F- and they really do not understand why their child is not making it. Look it is just the first couple days of school and their for Pete's sake is first grade. Why the hell am I getting homework back where parents are saying they don't understand. Again folk.....F + F will never equal A.

Much Like Destiny's Child....

I am a survivor!! Today was the first day of school and it went rather smoothly. Actually, smoother than I anticipated. This year I don't have a lot of kids with names that I can't pronounce, although a couple of them have names that can't possibly be pronounced the way they are spelled. Sad thing is this is usually the kid that can't read. If you give your child a name that has no vowels you can't possibly think they will learn phonics. I have one little boy that looks like he was attacked by ticks and fleas over the summer. He will have to get my attention from afar. I don't know what the hell is going on with him. Not to mention he is still scratching which makes me scratch, and well....You get the idea.

BTW...The air was working when I got in this morning. I have never been this happy before, because I just knew that I would be sweating like a pig all day.


Thoughts for Today: I am a reality show junkie...I love them. If you have some folk on an island or if you are in love with a washed out rap start or 70's tv show co-star, I'm watching. So did you see that mess on Flava of Love last night?! Forget that he has a harem of hoochies. Forget that I don't know if I am to be mad at the white girl who thinks she is from the hood (Brooklyn) and speak ebonics better that Ray Ray and them. What about girl that shit in her pants while standing in a group? She said it just came out. My friend this morning had to tell me that she picked it up and then DROPPED it trying to carry it up the steps. Now just how damn nasty can you be. My Lawd!!

I thought I would never say this but...

I am in love with the new AC Dude!! He is serious about getting some kinda air circulating in this room!1 I can't wait to feel the cool air on Monday.

Hot, Mad and Upset

Today is DAY 7 with NO AIR!

Ya know....I really should win employee of the month or at least get a free cheese pizza a Chuck E. Cheese for this. I don't think anyone here truly understands that for me this is working in a hostile environment. Luckily one of the kindergarten teachers was going thru the change last year and she had a fan in her room. She was kind enough to let me borrow it. I have decided that I am gonna get right with Jesus because hell is 2 degrees cooler than this room. I just can't spend eternity like this.

BREAKING NEWS!!! The principal just came in with two men from the school board behind her. When I have been saying there is no air conditioners in my room she heard that the units were not working. I think someone put a little bug in her ear that the units were taken out of the room. Dude that came in was hispanic and I think he felt my Black woman pain of having no air in a room full of 6 year old. Problem should be solved by Monday. HAL-A-LOO-JAH! Praise Him!

So far I have had 2 parents to show up. One child was not even registered for my class. She is now in my class. So I am up to 20 kids for Monday. I have a teacher on my team with only 12 kids. I really don't understand them adding folk to my room when chica only has a dozen. rumor is no one wants their child in her class and they have allowed parents to request certain teachers. See, now I am all caught up like Usher because I don't know whether to be flattered or to be mad that she gets away with that mess. Yesterday, she mentioned again how she was so upset that she only had 4 girls in her class...I had to give her the 'bitch please' face and walk away. In my next life I am coming back as a white woman because they have truly figured out how to get their way. That's a gift.

Too Hot to Handle

Today is day 6 with no air conditioning in my classroom. It is making me cranky and I am sure that sometime over the weekend I am going to be sick. I tend to leave my hot ass classroom to attend a meeting in a room that is too cold, or I will try to take refuge in another cool room just at the point I think I am about to die of heat stroke. This is ridiculous!

Today we had the opening of school meeting...I should say we are still having it becasue we took a break to allow some of our admin to attend a luncheon with one of our teachers who has an excellent chance of becoming Teacher of theYear. As happy as I am for her I cannot help being consumed with envy as she sits in a nice cool room having lunch and I burn in hell in this classroom.

Why don't you just leave or sit somewhere else? Good question!

I have too much stuff to do to be really ready by Monday. This is ridiculous.

Too Bootylicicous For Ya...

Being the fashionista that I claim to be, I bought this pair of House of Dereon jeans. The ones that Beyonce and her mom make. Well, they are really probably made by some 10 year old girls in a thrid world county who only make 2 cents an hour, but you get the idea. I have to admit that although the stuff on her sight is usually unattractive the jeans are the funk! If you have a little sista in your behind you need to spend the money for these. If you are like me, you would find a spot that has them on sale.

Anyway, one of the teachers here ( I will talk about this chica in more detail as days go by because I think something is wrong and I have not been able to figure out just what yet) grabbed me by the beltloop yesterday (!!!!!!) and said "These are the jeans I was telling you about that were in Macy's. I bought a pair." She was excited. I was confused and stunned that this grown ass woman had just tugged me by the belt loop in the school office no less. It is the beginging of the school year and I am really trying to start this year out right by not cursing as many folk out as I did last year (this particular person took up about a good 60% of last year's cuss-outs). I said "Oh really" and decided I would head on to my classroom. She then says, "But mine don't fit right," (whacusay?!) "they are really saggy in the bottom." Yes, she said bottom. I told her that the reason they would not fit her right is because they were made for women with butts, buduncadunks, asses and behinds, of which she had none of the above. She laughed and asked if I was serious. "Yeah!" So then she said what am I to do with them? "Take 'em back." She gives me that white woman " I can't believe you said that" look. You would think this would have ended the conversation. But, hell naw, Bobby. She is still talk and I am slowly backing away. At this point she is going on about getting them to fit and that of course the Lord could not have given her legs and boobs and an ass (help me not laugh at her Lord. You obviously take care of fools and babys and this one is no baby). I told her she would need to do the same thing that Black women have done for years: MAKE IT WORK and stop the bitchin'.

It is gonna be a long school year.

AC Dude Update: He is taking the units out of the room now!! Sadly, he will not bring them back to the end of the week. It is gonna BAKE in this room!!