Conversations with Principal...

(I am in an utter state of cosmic confusion when I talk to these folk)

Last year I was the lucky classroom chosen for the ADA bathroom upgrade. Principal came to me and raved that I would have a new tile bathroom, and it would be bigger and better. She said tile like I was getting handcrafted tiles from Italy instead of the regular old school board white tiles that I knew they would be using. The construction was to only take 3 weeks. I knew when she said this that the school board never completes a project on time. I prepared for the worst. The truly bad part was when I came into my room one morning to find that half of the room had been blocked off by a large wooden wall. "It is for the safety of the children...all the tools and such...don't want them to get hurt" she said. I sighed. All 24 of us squeezed into half a room was going to be a little tight. "It's just for 3 weeks." she reminded me. I sighed again.

So 3 months later I got a brand new bathroom.

It has been really cold in Miami...today it is 48. By Miami standards this is reason to close up shop. Sadly, they decided not to close school today. Yesterday was equally as cold. This is when I realized that the new bathroom was a bigger problem than I orginally thought.

"We are sooooooooo cold". These children that are used to being in 80 degree weather were just not understanding being cold. I went to turn on the heater. Then I realized that it was not there. Whadafuck? These fools have taken out the heater to put in the new bathroom! I just could not believe it! My fool self went to look in the new bathroom to see if maybe they had just enclosed the heater in with my new imported school board tiles.

No heater. Ain't this a bitch!!

So off to principal I go. Yep...here goes;

Me: When they installed the new bathroom, they removed the heater.

Prin: Are you sure?

Me: Well...it's gone.

Prin: Did you look in the bathroom?

Why didn't I think of that? And now that I did think of it, what good would the damn heater do in the bathroom? It would only heat up the funk that the children leave in there. Anyway...the conversation continues:


Me: Yep...I checked it. No heater.

Prin: Do you know why they did that?

Me: Um...no idea.

Prin: Can you use the air conditioner?

Me: I can...just don't need to right now.

Prin: Let me check on it and get back to you.

Now why in the world would I turn on the air conditioner on a 50 degree day? I thought maybe the air units had some kinda way you could use them for heat. I think they do, but the units are at the top of the room. Who the hell is gonna climb up there to check? They better call their friendly neighborhood spiderman. Not me.

So today, me and the kids are styling in our skullys and jackets. We will watch movies and read. And if it gets too cold, we will build a fire in the middle of the floor like the hobos on TV. Maybe we will just built it in the new tile bathroom.

Gotta love it!