My mom is so funny. I can't wait until I am a little older and a little braver so that I feel free to say and do the things she does. She is the prefect cross between a Southern Belle (you will never catch her without her legs crossed or her napkin in her lap) and a Ghetto princess. This sounds like a mean description but it is so true....and to top it off, I love her very much.
My mom recently moved to Mississippi. So, you can only imagine just how much more that Southern Belle has come out. What's funny is I talk to her daily... sometimes two or three times a day. Usually, the conversation really isn't a conversation. My mother has started her part of the conversation usually about 10 minutes before she has called me. By the time I pick up the phone, she is already full swing. She also tends to end the conversation about 30 seconds before I do. I end up saying my good-bye's to my new friend, Debbie Dialtone.
These conversations usually start when she is angry. I can tell this because I will pick up the phone to a conversation that is already in progress and peppered with some some 'damn's' and "fuck you"s. Yesterday she called me to tell me that she shared the same anger with Auntie Dearest (my Aunt who is causing the bulk of my family issues. Any day now this woman is gonna scream "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!"). The conversation went something like this:
Ring (actually, here you should insert Rick Ross "Hustlin'")
Mommie: ...and that bitch has truly lost her damn mind..you do what you need to do baby. She is just selfish. Fuck her and keep your head up. I think I might just call her.
Now that would be a good idea...I wonder how early she would start the conversation BEFORE picking up the phone?
Me: Yeah...I think...
Mommie: (still talking...I am not even sure she knows that I picked up the phone yet)....I wouldn't have done half of what you are doing now, if they don't like it ....fuck 'em.....you don't have time for that shit. I am so angry with her right now. Fuck that dumb shit.
Me: Me, too....I was think-
Mommie: Just hold ya head up baby. And fuck that dumb shit. I need to fix ya' daddy's dinner. Love you, bye.
And with that she hung up and I said my good-bye to Miss Debbie and took my mother's advice. Fuck the dumb shit.
My mom recently moved to Mississippi. So, you can only imagine just how much more that Southern Belle has come out. What's funny is I talk to her daily... sometimes two or three times a day. Usually, the conversation really isn't a conversation. My mother has started her part of the conversation usually about 10 minutes before she has called me. By the time I pick up the phone, she is already full swing. She also tends to end the conversation about 30 seconds before I do. I end up saying my good-bye's to my new friend, Debbie Dialtone.
These conversations usually start when she is angry. I can tell this because I will pick up the phone to a conversation that is already in progress and peppered with some some 'damn's' and "fuck you"s. Yesterday she called me to tell me that she shared the same anger with Auntie Dearest (my Aunt who is causing the bulk of my family issues. Any day now this woman is gonna scream "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!"). The conversation went something like this:
Ring (actually, here you should insert Rick Ross "Hustlin'")
Mommie: ...and that bitch has truly lost her damn mind..you do what you need to do baby. She is just selfish. Fuck her and keep your head up. I think I might just call her.
Now that would be a good idea...I wonder how early she would start the conversation BEFORE picking up the phone?
Me: Yeah...I think...
Mommie: (still talking...I am not even sure she knows that I picked up the phone yet)....I wouldn't have done half of what you are doing now, if they don't like it ....fuck 'em.....you don't have time for that shit. I am so angry with her right now. Fuck that dumb shit.
Me: Me, too....I was think-
Mommie: Just hold ya head up baby. And fuck that dumb shit. I need to fix ya' daddy's dinner. Love you, bye.
And with that she hung up and I said my good-bye to Miss Debbie and took my mother's advice. Fuck the dumb shit.
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