The High Price of Dying...

The day after Thanksgiving started out great. We did some shopping, took pictures with Santa ( it is my intent to blackmail stepson with those pictures as soon as he gets famous) and had a really great meal (gotta love Gladys and her chicken and waffles). We went back to the in-laws to just hang out that night.

Then it happened.


The phone rang, and the weird thing is that I knew there was something wrong as soon as my mother-in-law picked up the phone. It was Hubby's stepmom. Now she does not call often, if at all. She asked for my sister-in-law. The look on her face immediately told us that something was completely wrong.

My father-in-law had just died. She was waiting on the cororner to come and pronounce him dead.


For a moment, all the air in the room seemed to vanish. Again? Another person so soon, again? Not a month ago, he has just called to give condolences for my grandfather. I must have heard wrong. I looked at sister-in-law and immediately at Hubby. He does not know it, but for a brief second I saw this 6'5 man turn into a little boy. He quickly gathered himself and did what he usually does, take charge. He took the phone from his sister, got the information from his stepmom, and told me and stepson to gather our things.

Sister-in-law was not so stoic. Her tears were heartfelt. I knew just how she felt. Unfourtuately this year I have had that feeling far too much. Hubby and his sister took some time alone to grieve their father. I still could not catch my breath.

A few minutes later we were back on the road. The car was silent. Hubby has not shed a tear yet. Instead he has moments where he becomes introverted and mean. I let him have those moments because he, too, has deal with many losses this year,

As this week has gone by I have learned a lot about my father-in-law. To just meet him, he was a jokester. Even when he was sick he always had a smile and some words of wisdom my favorite being when he told my husband " Keep your own pack of cigarettes, your shirt pressed and your shoes shinned and no one will ever know just how broke you are." True statement. He was a very learned man, and I am finding out a very prominent man in his community. He founded many national projects and had some friends in very high places. He was amazing, but I knew that even before I knew of all the people he knew and places he'd been.

This week I have to be strong and understanding for my husband, just like he has been for me this year. But this loss confuses me. Why so many people from my life in such a short time? I can't describe the confusion I feel and I can't really discuss it with Hubby because right now, it is his turn to grieve. I keep my emotions to myself and make sure he has all that he needs. Secrectly, I have told myself that if I can just make it to the new year I will be all better. In the meantime, there is another program to plan, another plot to pick, clothes to choose and another creepy mortician to discuss the high price of dying. Truly the price is monetary, but that cost steeps into the heart and mind of the family too.

I just need to make it to New Year's.