Let's Get Ready to RUUUUUUMMMMBLE!

So today, I had to tussle with a 6 year old.

Ain't that some mess.

I am really upset about this thing. It was all over a pizza party that the child was not allowed to attend because of behavior. She just fell out on the classroom floor. What was funny was another child said. "Girl, you have gone crazy. Ms. Green has on her tennis shoes today."

See, my demons are learning to THINK!! I am so proud.

OK here we go. So.... some kids are eating pizza other kids are having a math lesson and Miss Thing is on the floor screaming 'no'. Well, more like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I am looking at her like she is the little girl from The Exorcist. Any minute now she is gonna spit out pea soup. Since we are Black, it will be black eye pea soup...with hog maws.

After about 10 minutes of this I have had enough. So have the other kids in the class. I walk over to her and in my best teacher voice tell her to "get up, and calm down". She screams. Not a regular scream but this primal thing. Like she was Tarzan in the jungle calling for the elephants to come help her with the 'whiteman'. All I need was a damn vine in the room so she could swing over the rafters.

I decide to call her grandfather, who just so happens to work at a school pretty close by. I love this man. All he said was "Gimme 5 minutes". Miss Thing is none to happy about this and grabs me by the leg. I shake her off. Then she gets up and start to kick at me! OK, truly she is now lost her rabbit ass mind!

To keep her off me, I take her by her wrist. She is still writhing and shaking and kicking. The school secretary walks by and gives me this 'whatdaphuck' look. I ask her to get security and guess who come barreling down the hall.

Yep, Principal.

At this point I knew things were going downhill. She takes Miss Thing by the wrist and lets her fall to the floor. She lays there like a noodle. Then the conversations begins.

Principal: Is she upset about something?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Another one of those Fool-A questions. I am sure asking the obvious is a tactic that this woman has mastered. I am not really sure what this tactic is supposed to accomplish, but this woman is truly a pro. I explained the situation and principal started to walk around like she was helping with the lesson. "We should just ignore her". Another winning tactic.

Just then, her grandfather comes to the door. The funny part is that all I saw was his head peep in the door and Miss Thing fly out. 'Don't worry. I got this!'

SEE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT!!

I thought that Principal would leave after this. But we start another conversation (sigh):

Principal: If you remember from psychology, children who have tantrums only want

your attention.

Me: Really?! (ya kidding, right)

Principal: So if we ignore the situation, she will just start to come around.

Me: Yep...but I think she probably laid there more because she was tired from kicking me all in the leg with those Buster Browns she's wearing. I will ignore her and the pain in my leg next time.

About 15 minutes later, grandpa and Miss Thing came back. Grandpa looked a bit winded. Miss Thing on the other hand had a WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE!

See, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!