Mr. Colorado Strikes Again...

The air is thin in Colorado. Or maybe it is just the air is heavy in Miami. This change in atmospheric pressure is killing Mr. Colorado. That is the only reason I can come up with for him.

Mr. Colorado sits at a table with two of my smartest students. This works because 1. I hope that they will be able to explain material to him at a level he may understand and 2. if all else fails maybe some of their 'smart' will rub off on him.

Yesterday, one of the boys (Smart Demon#1) at the table comes up to be looking confused and downright hurt. And so the journey with Mr. Colorado began:

SD1: Ms. Green, Colorado told me to suck his...his (he points down to his pants and then whispers) private parts!

Me: WHAT!!

SD1: He said suck his private parts.

Me: Did he say 'private parts'?

(Now, I am whispering, too)

SD1: Oh, no...he said the other word.


So I called Colorado to the desk. To this very moment I am wondering why I did not just send him to Principal. But then she would have had a conversation with me and two such conversations (with colorado and Principal) should not be had on the same day. That would be both cruel and unusual punishment.


Me: Did you tell Smart Demon to suck your private parts?

MC: Yes.

Me: Why would you say such a horrible thing?

MC: He told me to.

Me: He told you to say that?

(at this point SD1 is shaking is head so hard it may fall off)

MC: He has been saying all kinds of nasty things to me and they have been sticking in my head and then they came on my lips.

Me: What did he say to you?

MC: I can't remember, but I know that it was dirty.

Me: Did you think that was the right thing to say?

MC: I don't know it was in my head and I said it. I could not help it.

So I called the other smart demon to the desk. What is really funny is this kid is a genius, looks like he is India, is from Trinidad, and speaks with the most ghetto accent you can imagine. He is usually able to tell a sensible story about what happened.

Me: SD2, did you hear what happen at your table?

SD2: Yes.

Me: Well, who said what and was SD1 telling Colorado nasty things.

SD2: I don't know 'bout all that...but I know he told him to suck his dick...I mean wee-wee.

MC: But my brain told me.

I am really tired of this child and his pal 'brain' that keeps telling him to do foolishness. It's like that cartoon Pinky and the Brain.

What are we going to do tonight, Brain?

Same thing we do every night, try to aggravate Ms. Green!