Mr. Colorado

I must take a break from talking about my crazy family. I will go back to what I love to talk about...yep...the demons.

I have a new student from Colorado (first of all, now that his family has left the Black population in Colorado has dropped to zero). He has to be the weirdest child I have ever encountered. He reminds me of the kid from the Simpson that just says dumb shit at any given time. Has nothing to do with what is going on...just whatever has crossed his mind.

I will call him Mr. Colorado.


Mr. Colorado says weird stuff to me all the time. For example...out of the blue one day he said that he was not here. Listen up....HE said HE was not here. How is that possible? After giving him my newly patented Colorado Confused look, I walked away. A few seconds later he said 'didn't you hear me?' I said 'no, because I left five minutes ago.'

The next day he told me that he could only talk to me in Russian that way he would understand. Again, I gave him the look and told him that if he did I would not understand him. He said something that sounds to me like "HUNGAMYUNDASMIT". I asked him 'what did you call my momma? " This time he walked away.

Today, he turned in his test paper and, if you have not guessed by now he is not the best or the brightest. Most of the answers were correct.

That just can't be right. But then again maybe the baby had an epiphany. I was over joyed becayse the last few days were quite scary. I called him to the desk and asked him to read the paper.

Me: Read this for me Colorado.

MC: I can't read.

Me: Then how did you get the answers?

MC: My brain had told me to do it.

Me: Your brain?

MC: Yes. I just looked at it and my brain said that I should chose the one in the middle.

Now this would have been a logical answer if he had chosen all the words that were in the middle. But some were on the top. Some were the last word on the list. I think this 'brain' is the voices in his head. He is crazy. If I had any damn sense I would run!
Me: Did your brain tell you how to read it?

MC: No. But maybe I should ask my brain.

Me: OK.

MC: Did I do something wrong?

Me: No. I just need to know if you read this paper yourself.

MC: No. I had help.

Me: Who helped you?

MC: My brain.

See, that's that bullshit right there!