The King Of The White Women...

On a regular, I blog surf. Meaning when I am bored and tired of working I check other miscellaneous blogs just to see what people are thinking and to catch up on the latest gossip. Today I ran across this article:


http://allhiphop.com/blogs/djsproducers/archive/2007/08/27/18438140.aspx



Now, until I read this I had no idea who Palow Da Don was. I am learning that he is a producer and has produced many songs that I have danced to in my early morning post shower dance routine (OK, too much information). In this article he goes on to explain how he is "King of the White Girl" and the reasons why he dates them. I really have no problems with Black mean dating White/Asian/Hispanic women. I just need the reason to STOP being because Black women are too strong, too independent and question too much. Well, here's a thought: Maybe we are that way because of Black MEN.

There are many good Black men. I am lucky enough to believe that I have found one. But I remember all the frogs I had to kiss to get to this one, and I admit that while kissing this frog I had many questions running though my mind. People react to things based on past experiences. Many Black women have had some really bad experiences with Black men. So, as a survival tactic our mothers/aunts/grandmothers have taught us to be on guard and to take care of ourselves. Just in case. And I will be the first to admit that sometimes we go overboard with that self sufficient thing. It takes a while for us to soften up. It does not mean that we don't know how to take care of our men. When we love, we love hard. But it also means that we will not let you run the Okey Doke on us.

So look, Guys, let's come up with a new excuse. If you just want to date another race, cool. If you just happen to fall in love with a White woman, cool. When you love someone you just love them. Nothing you can do about it. And if that is the case, I will dance at your wedding in my best red dress. But don't blame independence, or the fact that we will not let you play us be the blame.


So quit 'cha bitchin', Black man, grab ya nuts and man up!

Jena 6

It always amazes and saddens me to hear that these type incidents still happen today. What is sad is that I would expect it to happen with adults. Well, not expect, but I could accept it more. What is sad/scary is that this is with children. And the truly sad part is that what is HAPPENING to the children, as a result of this foolishness that I am sure has been perpetuated by their parents, is being done to them by ADULTS who really should know better.

There is a fund to help this child pay for his attorney. I am sure there will be a cry for others who will need help soon. I guess I need to pull out my debit card.

This is madness!



Charge reduced in 'Jena 6' case
Change made on day jury was to be picked

By Howard Witt | Tribune senior correspondent
June 26, 2007
Article tools
HOUSTON - The district attorney prosecuting a racially charged beating case in the small Louisiana town of Jena abruptly reduced attempted-murder charges Monday against a black high school student accused of attacking a white student, drawing cautious praise from civil rights leaders who contend the charges were excessive and part of a pattern of uneven justice in the town.

Mychal Bell, 16, a former Jena High School football star, and five other black students had been facing the potential of up to 100 years in prison if convicted of attempted murder, conspiracy and other charges for the December beating of the white student, who was knocked unconscious but not hospitalized. The incident capped months of escalating racial tensions at the high school that began after several white youths hung nooses from a tree in the school courtyard in a taunt aimed at blacks.

But as jury selection was about to begin in Bell's case Monday, District Atty. Reed Walters reduced the charges to aggravated second-degree battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated second-degree battery, which together carry a maximum of 22 years in prison. Walters, who is prosecuting Bell as an adult, also offered the teenager a plea agreement including a suspended sentence, which Bell's father said the youth rejected.



Related Links
Racial demons rear heads
Trials for the other five accused in the case have been delayed, and it was not clear whether Walters intended to reduce the charges against them as well. Walters did not speak to reporters in Jena or return calls seeking comment.

The case against the "Jena Six," as the defendants have come to be called by their supporters, received national notice after it was featured in a May 20 Tribune report that detailed how racial animus had divided the mostly white central Louisiana town of 3,000 and erupted into repeated incidents of violence between blacks and whites.

"It certainly looks like the district attorney responded to the scrutiny the media has brought to this case," said Alan Bean, a civil rights activist in Tulia, Texas, who, along with representatives of the ACLU and the NAACP, has been sharply critical of the charges against the black youths. "I don't think he's gone far enough in reducing the charges, but we're certainly in a better place than we were."

Bell's father, Marcus Jones, said Monday that even though his son has been jailed since December and unable to post $90,000 bail, he preferred to take his case to a jury rather than plead guilty to a felony.

"The DA is trying to use my son as a scapegoat for these ridiculous charges," Jones said. "He knows there's no proof showing that my son and those other kids were trying to kill that boy. It was a simple high school fight. How can you turn that into attempted murder?"

Darrell Hickman, an attorney for one of the other youths charged in the case, said he expected the charges against the other defendants would eventually be reduced as well. And he asserted that even the reduced charges would be hard to prove.

"I think the district attorney is still overreaching," Hickman said. "The new charge is aggravated second-degree battery, which requires use of a weapon. There's no evidence that any weapon was involved."

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Official Aunt Jackie Video!!!

OH MY GOD!! There is a video! I am so happy this is my new favorite song.

I did hurt my hip trying to do this...so I am going to go lie down now.

AUNT JACKIE DANCE

This past weekend the boys showed me some new dances. I have seen the Superman, Spiderman, Batman and my new favorite The Aunt Jackie.

I really thought the boys were making these up for my amusment and to go with the songs, but thanks to YouTube I now know that all the kids in the nation are doing this foolishness.

Enjoy!!

The Return of Mr. Colorado

This morning I got a call on my cell phone. I started not to answer, but something about the number looked familar. Of all people, it was Colorado and his mom. Mom told me that he was working hard all summer on his reading and math and she knew that he would hit the ground running. I think he may trip a bit, but I am sure he will do well.

Then the conversation got teary. Colorado's mom told me that she called this morning based on a conversation with her son this morning:



CM: Are you excited about starting school?

MC: Yes, but Ms. Green will not be there to help me.

CM: It's okay, you will have a new teacher to help you this year.

MC: Yeah...but it is not the same. I am going to miss Mrs. Green. I love her. Is it wrong to love your teacher.


So after I tried not to choke up on the phone, I exchanged email addresses with Colorado's mom. That way we will be able to keep in touch this school year, and I will be sure to stop by his class the next time I am in Miami. I did not realize how much I am going to miss that job.

And all my demons!

How to Play Nicely...

Back in the day my good friend (and personal stylist) the Cruise Director, had an apartment where we all used to hang out.
Since she lived closest to all the good clubs, her apartment was usually the place where we would lay our heads after a night of dancing, drinking, and dodging men with gold teeth ( I am the undisputed gold tooth magnet). She had this black cat. I cannot remember the cat's name, probably because I really hated this cat. The problem was the cat LOVED me.

Any time I would spent the night, I would wake up with the cat either on my head or under the covers with me. Usually he was snuggled up and purring. I would wake up scream and throw the cat across the room. As sooon as I would fall asleep, the damn cat was right back under the covers.

Next she moved to an apartment not far from the house I lived in. She no longer had the cat, which made me really happy. However, I came over one day to find her with a new pet. Her dog Bandit, named so because he looked just like the dog off the Johnny Quest cartoon. I am just not an animal person. Didn't like the dog, but just like that damn cat, that damn dog was always right by my side.

This past week Hubby's younger son came to spend time with us. Sadly for me, he fell into the category with the cat and Bandit the dog. He, too, was under me any time I would allow it to happen. The thing is with this child I can't seem to get my feelings right. I hold a lot against him not for things that he has done, but for ways his mom has acted since she has allowed him to come back into Hubby's life? Is that fair? No. But it did not stop me from treating him a little different than the other kids and for that I feel really bad.

Nonetheless...he was right up under me just like that damn cat. Ewww....I hated that cat!!

I think sometimes we have to learn to separate our feelings from what we project those feelings on. I know it is not right for me not to like this child because of his mother and I vow to pray and work on being a better person when it comes to him. Hubby says that some times you have to just let your feelings go and accept things as they come. You have to do the right things no matter what wrong you think may be done to you. He is right. And I really hate when he is right.

After awhile, though it used to bug the hell out of me, I used to pet the cat. And I even played with the dog on occasion and it really wasn't that bad. I just had to get used to them and let go of whatever negative feelings I had. I guess I will have to do the same thing with the new son.

Boy, this being a grown up is a pain in the ass!! LOL

Me, the boys, and Jassi

Each summer my stepson, his best friend, and Jassi spend a week with me and Hubby at our home in Jacksonville. This year, my husband's middle son also spent time with us. This made for a really full house since at one point the above mentioned kids were here along with my godson, god daughter, and Crimes Legal's daughter. Let's just say I was making some cell block 8 size meals up in this camp!


I love when they come to visit. I guess as much as I often hate to admit it, i have wanted to have kids of my own an each year I get a chance to experience just what it would be like to have a house ful of kids. I learn two things from these weeks. One, large families each a lot of food. and two, it can be very noisy. The noise takes a while for me to get used to. I often tell hubby I have a really bad case of 'only child syndrome'. Too many folk and too much noise just upsets the hell out of me after awhile.


After a week of big breakfast and video games and the snake hunt that will go down in history, I am again along in my house. All the kids are back home preparing for school next week, and Hubby had some meetings to attend out of town. The house is quiet. I will probably get a full nights sleep tonight.


I miss the kids.

For the love of Money...

It is my belief that my family is so very worried about money. Most of the concerns I get from them stem from money. So it really took me aback yesterday when Auntie Dearest sent an email to me that said:


"Let's not make this about money, we are family and these are family
matters. Don't take things so personally."


Wow. Now, that's that bullshit right there!

When I read that I was heated! How can someone not take something personally when conversations are about them exclusively? Then, for the rest of a restless night, I began to wonder. "Am I making this about money?" I thought about it so much that I started praying by accident. What I mean by that is that I think I had a conversation with the Lord instead of the usual beggin and pleading that most folk do. " Lord, am I really that concerned about what these folk do with this money?" Hell, it ain't my money. Really it is not theirs either. I am just the one to make sure that it is distributed fairly. Oddly the more I 'prayed' the more I thought about the situation and about Auntie Dearest's comment. Moreover, I though about just how much I miss my family. Even my dumb ass Aunt. See what concerns me most is that she and Uncle Junkie are getting their financial advice from the jackleg accountant that got gradndaddy in the IRS mess we are in now. In my opinion, he is the LAST person any one should be asking for assistance. But that is just me. See...there I go talking about money again, when I should not be taking this personally and talking about family. Somebody help me get my mind right!!

We may not be the sanest group right now. Now that I think about it, we really have never been a truly sane group. We were (are) the truly functional, dysfuntional family unit. But we did at least love each other. So, when I thought back on her comment, I began to wonder. "If this is not about money, and it IS about family...then what the hell are we fighting about and what is the plan to get us back on track as family again?"

I thought about my whole family situation all through the night and into the morning. This made me a very unpleasant person to deal with this morning. But there it was staring me in the face. I had no choice. I would not be right until I got this off my chest. As much as I hated the thought of it, I had to address my concerns to AD. So I wrote an email to just her (not the group like we usually do...but I did keep a copy...ya gotta watch ya back with this crowd) this morning. In part it read:

"I keep thinking about this and you are right. This is not about money. Pretty soon that part of this whole argument will be over. What will we do to be family again?"

See, I keep thinking of this situation as a money issue because that is all we talk about. No one says anything about what we are going to do when the money is gone. What is the plan to getting back to being family? I doubt it will ever be the same as it was...but there at least has to be some start.

As of this post, I have not recieved a response from Auntie Dearest...and I really wonder if I ever will.

Divine Interventiion

This weekend was my 20th highschool reunion. Now I did not go, but I got a call from an old friend that I had not seen in years. We caught up about all our old friends and she told me all about who was doing what now. She went on about how proud she was of her daughters (who are now 12 and 14 now...God we are old. I remember when she was pregnant. MY LAWD!) and how they are doing everything in junior high school and high school that we could never do ( in short they are overly smart, taking all AP classes and super popular).

As per normal when you get in touch with an old friend she has put me on her email list. Today she sent me the first of what I am sure will be a ton of emails between us. She just does not know how much this email meant to me.

Over the last couple days the same old same has been going on with Auntie Dearest and Uncle Junkie. Again a bunch of foolishness and rumors that are just too much. For example, Hubby and I are now members of the maffia. We own too much stuff. There is no way we could have gotten it from Hubby working 24/7 and having a Doctorate. Nope, we are the Black Sopranos. GET DA FUCK OUTTA HERE! I guess I need to have a baby named Pasture since Meadow is already taken. Yes, Pasture Green is a nice name. Little do they know that if I were really a part of the Mafia, I would have had them both sleeping with the fishes...BADDA BING, BADDA BOOM!

Anyway today my old friend sent me this... well I don't know what to call it. It is definitely not a poem, so I guess I will just call it some words of advice.


Thank God for old friends.



(see the next post)

Thanks, Kim!!

SHAKE THEM HATERS OFF!

A hater is someone that is jealous and envious and spends all their time
trying to make you look small so they can look tall. They are very negative
people.

Nothing is ever good enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...
That's why you have to be careful who you share your blessings and your
dreams with because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like
somebody else. He would have given you what He gave them.

You don't know what people have gone through to get what they have...
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't
know my story...
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest
assured that the water bill is hi gher there too.

We've all got some haters among us: Some people don't like it that you can:
* Have a r elationship with God
* Light up a room when you walk in
* Start your own business
* Tell a man/woman to get lost (if he/she ain't about the right thing)
* Raise children without both parents being around
* And not ask for a dime from Anyone

* Haters don't want to see you happy
* Haters don't want to see you succeed
* Haters don't want you to get the victory

Most of our haters are people that are supposed to be on our side. How do
you handle the haters who you at least expect to have your guard up
against?
You can handle your haters by:

1. *Knowing who you are & who your true friends are (VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. *Having a purpose to your life
3. *By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human
manipulation.

Purpose does not mean having a job.
You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

Fulfill your dreams!
You only have one life to live................when its your time to leave
this earth, you want to be able to say,"I've lived my life and fulfilled my
dreams, .........I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you a favor, you can tell your haters, "Don't look at me...
Look at who is in charge of me..."

I LOVE BASKETBALL

I can just about honestly make this statement now since I have spent the bulk of this summer following behind Stepson for basketball tournaments. Now, I can't even form my mouth to say that I have gone to nearly as many as his mom, but as far as a Vice Parent goes, I have done more than my fair share.

I can say that these tournaments take us many lovely vacation spots. Well, Akron was not so lovely (fear the 'Roo) but most of them have been rather nice. Tomorrow, we are headed to Las Vegas and I am headed to Fatburger. It is really sad that the main reason I am excited about this trip is not the fact that the boy will be seen by college coaches. It is not even the fact that it is the Chris Webber Celebrity weekend. No, people, I am happy about a hamburger!

It is amazing what makes us happy in our old age! Thank you basketball for making Fatburger happen for me this weekend!!

Read a Book

I went back to my school yesterday. I needed to withdraw Jassi and make sure she was all set up to start her new private school in the fall. She is so excited about starting her new school. She has decided that she wants to be a soccer player and I am NOT excited about how hot it is going to be to watch her play soccer in the Miami heat. But, that is just one more in the list of things one must do to be a Vice Parent. I will be buying stock in spf 50 sunblock.

I sat and talked with some friends from school for awhile (Hi, Ms. W) and realized that I will really miss them this coming year. Of course, I can visit, but it just is not the same as when you get to see folk every day. I also got to thinking about the demons. I wonder what is going on with them this summer. I know that Shawshank is gearing up to go to a new school, and that DemonSlayer and his mom are trying to find a permanent place to live. But I wonder what is going on with the rest of them. I started to stop by Sickly's house on the way home,but I just did not have the time.

This morning, I saw this video posted on another sight that I frequent. I could not stop laughing. I think I will be sending it to all my teaching friends at the begining of the year. I started to think of all the rap songs my demons knew word for word. Many things that were just so inappropriate. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a song that would teach them something worthwhile? Well, without all the cuss words. If I had a classroom this year, I would find a way to make this work as the class song.

Principal would never go for that though!

The Groupie Run...

My Hubby is the biggest Kelly Rowland fan there is. Back when Destiny's Child was the buzz and everyone was checking on Beyonce, Hubby was all about Kelly. So suffice it to say that he was more than happy when he found out our tickets to see Mary J and Maze featuring Frankie Beverly also incuded a show by Kelly Rowland.

The man was just happy. I don't know if I was mad or jealous. Hmmm?

So after a long road trip Hubby, Crimes Legal and her new man who from this point forward will be known as SmileyD, all pulled up to our hotels and settled in. I looked out the window of our room and noticed that in the clearing there were men setting up a stage. My first thought was that this was going to be a sleepless weekend since I was sure there would be a show of some sort going on until the wee hours of the morning. The hotel was full, so we had no choice but to deal with it.


The next day after some shopping and a good meal, we decided we would head back to our rooms to rest before hitting the town again. When we got to the room, sure enough, the music was bumping and there was a crowd. We looked out the window and lo and behold....there stood my husband's play play baby momma Kelly. Hubby immediately called SmileyD to let him know of his good fortune. This was the point when I realized that he too was a Kelly fan, because not a 30 good seconds after the call, he was knocking on the door out of breath. Crimes Legal walked in shortly behind him simply shaking her head.

Once these two realized that the show was live, we saw Ms. Kelly in simulcast! Talk about two happy men! Crimes and I just sat and let them enjoy their moment. Then it happened! They noticed that Kelly was leaving the stage...and coming through the back door of the hotel. The next thing Crimes and I heard was Smiley telling Hubby he did not need his damn shoes and the door slamming.

Me: You know they left the camera, right.

CL: Yep.

Me: They are gonna be really upset that they missed a photo op.

CL. Yep.

Me: Umph.

CL: Girl get the camera and lets go.

Me. Yep.


When we made it downstairs, we saw Kelly coming toward us, but did not see Hubby or SmileyD. I started to feel really bad because I though they may have missed her. Crimes pulled out her phone to see if she could call them, and but just then we notcied these two fools right behind Kelly with the group like they were a part of security. Hubby in his socks!

Anyway, our mad dash lead to both Hubby and Smiley taking a very nice picture with their play play baby momma. She, quite surprisingly, is very friendly and stayed for a very short conversation. Crimes and I notice that in her boyfriend's picture he is cheesing so hard that his picture may just be all teeth and Kelly. Luckily, Kelly did not notice Hubby was standing there in his socks (or maybe she was just gracious enough to not mention it)!

( I am not gonna tell you that Crimes and I went on this same Groupie Run for Ne-Yo a couple days later. LOL)

My Inner Ike...

I was talking with a friend of mine early this morning. He was on this side of the world for a family reunion and had thought of taking the 4 hour drive down from ATL to spend the day with me and Hubby. During our conversation this morning we got to talking about people and their behaviors. And for some reason, I just got angry. The more we talked about family and life and folk being ungrateful, the angrier I got. After the conversation ended, I found myself sitting in my office just mad!


I am angry that I no longer have a family. I have a bunch of folk that I am genetically related to. I seems not to have any conncections anymore. I am angry that I feel that we have sold each other out for what may end up being about $10K ( that they still have to pay taxes on!). I am angry that I don't feel welcomed in their homes and that I don't trust them anymore. I am angry that I feel alone.

Here's the thing...

The arguments are over money. Money that not one of us earned. This money should not stop anyone from their daily lives. It is not enough to change lives. It is almost as if the money is a payment for the acceptance of the loss of two people we all loved dearly. Taking that payment...arguing over compensation makes me angry!

Unless there are some drastic Dr. Phil moments coming in the next few months, nothing will EVER be the same. We are going to miss out on holidays and graduation and births and all the life that a family is supposed to share. All for about $10K (before taxes). Is is worth the anger and the fighting? No not hardly. But I am sure our need to right in this matter will supercede trying to get our family back together.


So now, I have to find a new family. I am sure this makes Hubby happpy because we will no longer need to fight about where we are spending the holidays. Hell, we only have one choice now. So this fall, as I sit at my new place at my new table not eating the foods that I have grown up loving, trying to fit in and remember the names of the new Aunts and Uncles and cousins, I will remember my family and probably get angry before they serve the mashed potatoes (and what self respecting Black family has mashed potatoes for THANKSGIVING!).


The whole thing just makes me so......ANGRY.

The Blacker The Berry...

I have not worked for the last few weeks and I must admit that I am enjoying not having anything to do. From previous experience, I know that this euphoric 'happy I am not working thing' will probably only last a few more weeks. My 'vacation' has also lead me to being really lax on blogging. Not that there hasn't been a lot to write about, but not a lot of free time to write.

What has been great is that I have had a lot of time to spend with Hubby and my friends. I have also had a lot of time to just sit and think about my feelings and what I want to do in the coming months. Which, in an odd way, leads to me writing today.

I was talking with Mommie earlier and we got on the subject of race and color. We have had this discussions many times. As a dark skinned girl in the South, this subject comes up a lot. I grew up with my great grandmother, who many times in her young life was able to pass for a white woman. She also taught me the second half of the saying "the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice". (In case you didn't know it's "but if the berry's too black, it ain't no damn use") My grandmother (a papersack tan) married a blackbery man and yada, yada, yada along comes me...a dark skinned grandbaby. My mother spent a lot of time when I was a child letting me know that being dark was not the curse that most Black folk like to make it. In fact, my beauty contest winning mother always made sure I knew that black was indeed beautiful.

Oddly enough, about a week ago, me and the girls were sitting around the table at a friends house when her incredibly cute daughter asked if they could go outside and play the new badmitton game her Gram had just bought her. Of course, friend did not get up because she was talking with her girls and used the excuse that it was too hot outside and they would go later. Now you know this did not suffice babygirl. She asked again if she could go out and this time added the most adorable "PULEEEEZE". Mommy replied " You don't want to go out now. The sun is out real hot right now. You don't want to get black, do you?" Of course babygirl replied "No, Mommy."

My jaw dropped.

Crimes Legal was sitting next to me and just as I was looking at her she looked at me. Did she really say this? Do folk really still think it is bad to be too dark?

As a people, we have other things to worry about. Bigger problems than skin color. As a people, we need to embrace all the beautiful tones our people come in. I know my family has members that could still "pass" if we were in the 40's and people who are as dark as night. As I talked with Mommy today, we talked about how darker skin is OK for a man, but is usually not so good for a woman. If you look at most of the commercials that show a Black family, you will notice that the dad will usually be dark but mom and the kids are light skinned and light eyed. Now how the hell?

I talked to mommy about how the demons in my class would argue over skin color and weight and I wonder just where they got that from. For goodness sake they were only 6! Then I thought about how we as adults, not purposely, say things to our kids that give them impressions on what the perfect pretty is or what the right weight should be. We need to address how perfect each individual is.

Do I think my friend meant anything? Of course not. But I wonder how the little things we say and the things our girls see on TV affect what they think about themselves. Start telling your girls that they are special without adjectives. Tell them they are pretty, not that they are a 'pretty to be a darkskinned girl'. Stop telling them they will be fat. Show them better eating habits and let them know that not everyone is a size 4. OK, I know that I am not totally innocent. I know that I have said some things that I hope have not scarred step daughter or any of my neices and god daughters. As much as we speak to our girls about the color of their skin or their weight, let's equally talk about being educated, learning to make smart financial decisions, and talking care of themselves.


Let's create a generation of smart, confident (and OK pretty) women!

Good Deeds Gone Bad...

I am one of those people that fall short on going to church. Don't get me wrong. I believe in God, I read the bible and other books on spirituality and how to lead a good life. I am a true believer in taking the high road and always striving to be the good person taking the higher ground. Hubby is the same way. Though he is mean an surly, he will always be the one to 'act like and adult' in any situatuon. i firmly believe that if you do good then good things with come back to you. Hubby and I have talked with Stepson about this many times. He is setting himself up to be in a position where good things are going to come to him. He will also be in a position where he could possible use a lot of people who may want to just swing on his cot tails. In my best Vice Parent voice I have told him that he must do good for people so that good things will continue to happen to him. It's just Godly and the way I believe the Universe works.


Until recently...


My family has made me change my mind on a of things over the last few months. See there is somethings strandly odd about this group. My universal law does not work on them. They are not a bunch of folk that can accept good deeds. Go figure. These God Fearing, church going folk are the most mean spirited people I have ever met. And as of yesterday, I no longer have time for them.

My grandfather left some jewlery in his estate. Mind you this is not a grand estate, but the little things that he left were valuable. As I have said before I was told to liquidate everything and split the money betwee his children. He left a will which was good because if they are fighting like this now, i can only imagine what would have happened if there was no will. Anyway, the jewlery was not purchased inthe estate. Auntie Dearest hubsand wanted to buy it, but was unable to due to an emergency. When we were dividing the property at my grandfather's house, My olderest uncle, who is also my grandfather's cousin and has known him all his life, came by. He is very sentimental, and asked if he could have a pair of my grandfather's shoes. Don't know why, but that is all that he wanted. Uncle Junkie had previously asked for all the clothes in the closet and at the time he was not there. I was too afraid to give Oldest Uncle a pair of shoes. I have regretted that for the last four months.


This Father's Day I wanted to do something special. So I purchased the ring out of the estate to give to Olderst Uncle. Hubby wanted to make this a grand gesture and purchased a second ring out of the estate to give to Auntie Dearest husband since he wanted to buy the jewlery in the first place. This we thought was a good deed. Maybe is would lead to closure and some and healing in with this group.

I did not want to do this at all. And I really had to fight deep to send that ring to Auntie Dearest house. I knew that this gesture of kindness would be taken out of context and we all would be fighting again. I fought against Hubby because though I knew this was the right thing to do, I just could not bring myself to do it. Even at the post office I was struggling to sign my name to the card because I knew that this would be a bigger mess than anyone could imagine. But again, listening to what is right, I signed my name and sent the package off with good wishes.

Oldest Uncle cried when he got the ring. Aunitie Dearest's husband called and thanked Hubby and I profusely for the kind gesture. I started to feel bad that I had made such a fool out of myself by not wanting to send this ring.

And then...

I get a call from Other Aunt upset that I had tired to do a good thing. "Why would you do something like that...you know how they act" after asking her what she was talking about, I learned that Auntie Dearest was mailing the ring to Uncle Junkie because that is who she said it should have gone to in the first place. WHAT??? Then I called Mommie to see if she knew anything about this. Between giggles she told me that she had spoken to Auntie Dearest who mention that this was a great gesture and that her husband had been so happy but she was sending the ring to the Junkie. After HUbby made a few calls Hubby found out that AD's husband did not know of her trip to the post office.


GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

I can't believe that this good deed when this wrong. I aksed Mommie and Oldest Aunt what they said to AD and no one said ANYTHING. They accepted this stupidity and instead called me. I am completely hurt. I am tired of feeling like the one that everyone in this group dumps their emotions on when it comes to this woman. If you are upset and don't like what she did call her and complain and argue. I feel as if I am a joke with this group. A scapegoat to take everyones emotions out on. It seems to be greater to keep the relationship between the brothers and the sisters than to keep a relationship with any other member of the family. And here I am thinking that I was special and from a special family. These folk are special, just in a nuthouse kinda way. As of yesterday, I have no need to talk to my mom (let see how long that will last) or any of these people. I am seeing that doing your best for other people usually gets the worst done to you and I am going to have to think long and hard about my Universal philosophy.

Other Aunt keeps saying that I must not be my mother's child because I have not acted a raw as she would have by now. As of today, I am my mother's child. This is about to be fun.

The Long Ride Home

This weekend I went to visit a friend of mine in Athens, GA. Athens is only known for one thing and that is UGA. The University of Georgia takes up a lot of space in the small Georgia town, it also takes up a lot of space in the residents of the city. If ever there was a city proud of its college team...well, Athen is that town. The funny thing is that although Ms. Athens works for the school, she is not the die-hard Bulldog fan. Her husband, however, secrectly suits up and plays wide receiver for the team. They just don't know it.

Anyway, this weekend, during my long drive to and from Athens, I though a lot about where life takes us. Just like the long road there, our life is a long road with many twist, turns, and rest stops along the way. The whole jouney takes us to an unknown destination. Usually one that we were not expecting and only came across because of some detour we decided to take. For example, Ms. Athens is a former beauty queen and is able to be bougie with the best of us. She married this small town boy and though the mix seems combustable, the bottom line is that they are in love and have a great family.

This weekend she was the lead driver on my pilgramage to the Envy store. I have watched the show on Black Family Channel many times and promised my self that the next time I was in the ATL I would make sure to stop by the store. I had to keep from jumping up and down and screaming like a school girl when the women from the store were actually in the shop. Envy is in a popuplar bohemian part of Atlana called Five Points. After paying way too much for some shirts and shorts. Miss A and I decided that we would walk around a place that we had been to many times before, only in younger years. Going to an area that you frequented when you were younger after you have aged a bit is usually funny. In most of the stores we just looked at each other and sighed..."Why did we used to come here again?". It was fun, and it was a laugh, but we needed to get back next to some folk our own age.


As we drove around we had a chance to talk. It was weird because it was uninterrupted. There was no Hubby asking me questions, no baby crying, or Jazzi asking is she can have her 6000th snack of the day. It was nice to just talk. As women do we talked about relationships, life. love. the future and had some good laughs about the past. The next morning, I started my long ride home.

It's good to have time to spend with old friends. I loved my weekend. And if she will have me, I plan on doing it again soon. Maybe she can take the long ride to my house this time.


Thank You, Athens, for a lovely weekend.

Letting Go of My Demons

My last day with the demons was sad. The funny part is no one could have told me that letting them go would have been this hard. I did my best to make sure that our last days were fun. Sadly, though I tried we did not have too much fun this school year. There were always test and assesments and district policies to contend with. We watched movies (even though principal was not happy about that), ate cupcakes, drank a ton of punch and at the final hour, had Mrs. Green's world famous ice cream sodas. Yeah...I sent them home to their parents like they usually sent them to me this year...sugarded up and ready to run.


Usually only a few children come on the last couple days of school. Of course, DemonSlayer was the first face that I saw right up until the end. I can only assume that his mom did not want to start her vacation too early. He must have come for the free hot dogs and the chance to do his favorite thing in school without having anyone fuss....NOTHING. The JesusDemons were there and so was Ms. Brazil. We had a great time.

The best part of it all was truly unexpected. Around 11 o'clock on the very last day, Mr. Colorado and his mom came to the door. He had not come that morning and I was sure that, like most of the kids, he was just going to stay home and start vacation early. His mom told me that when he woke up he realized that he had not given me the card that he had spent all weekend working on. In the card he thanked me for being the best teacher he ever had (and the spelled it right). He also told me how he was going to miss me over the summer and was sad that I was not coming back to the school. He also said that he would remember that I was he favorite person. Go figure.


The sad thing is I will miss my demons. I can take pleasure knowing that I have sent them out into the cold hard second grade world prepared and ready to put up the good fight with their own demons. Maybe I have been the crazy one all along because I will truly miss each of them.


(OK well maybe not Shawshank, but you get the idea!)

Uh-Oh Moment...

Oprah has these Ah-Ha moments where she realizes something profound in her life. I tend to have more of the Uh-Oh moment where I realize that I have been doing something totally backwards. Yesterday was an Uh-Oh kinda day. I had a long talk with Crimes Legal. She has started a new relationship and between that, school, work and being a mommy we have not had as much time to speak as usual. It's understandable...that is quite a load. Couple that with the fact that I have quite a bit to carry also and you can see why we just don't get on the phone too much.

Oh, but when we do...

During the course of conversation we got to talking about every woman's favorite subject...MEN. More specifically we talked about how men pout about you not letting them be 'the man'. This came up when I told her that Hubby got all tender on me the other day when I told him I did not need something and he bought it anyway. He told me that he was the man and if he felt he could get something that I wanted that I should let him be the man and buy it. He got REAL serious on me. He also talked about how he did not do that in his last major relationship thinking that being a workaholic and making sure bills were paid but not talking care of his woman caused him to loose 'his woman' (I started wondering when Hubby started talking like a 1970 sitcom character...but I digress) Long story short, I ended up with my umpteenth white t-shirt (I love those things).

CL said that she had a similar conversation with her new beau when he argued with her over purchasing a chair for her home. She said that she could not afford it right now and that she could wait. He said that he was a working member of that household too and that he would buy it for her. The conversation went back and forth and I think she may have ended up with a new chair (hey, everyone has to sit down sometime). We both laughed at how petty and simple men can be.

Then it hit me...just a few short years ago we were complaining that we could not find a man that would take care of us and let us just be women. We were sick of having to handling everything our selves. For the last 30 some-odd years we have had to make all the decisions and pay all the bills and worry about all the things that required worration (my grandmother's word).

Ain't it funny how things change?

When you get what you prayed for, you turn around and change the prayer! That has to be the reason why we think God is not answering our prayers. He is answering them, we just keep switching up on the request. Poor Deity is confused. So we both decided then and there (and yes with some hesitation) to allow the man to be the man. Allowing him to be the man does not mean we play the fool, but let the man do all the man things we have been arguing, pining, begging and singing Mary J. Blige songs about for so many years.

Uh-Oh, Ladies, I think we might be on to something!

I Hate Mother's Day!

Since it is now officially a day past Mother's Day, I can now say this without any feeling really bad about saying it. OK, here goes:


I HATE MOTHER'S DAY!

Now, I know that is an awful thing to say because we really are not supposed to ever say anything against dear old mom. But, my reason behind not liking this holiday about not liking my mother. It is all about memories and me.

I stopped liking Mother's Day last year. It was the first year in what is dangerously close to 40 years that I did not either see, talk or send something to my grandmother. It is the first time in those same ridiculously close to 40 years that I realized just how much I loved her. Still do. It was the first time that I realized that I would never see her again.

While I am thinking about my grandmother, I start thinking about my mom. I have not seen my mom since my grandfather's funeral. Before that it was my grandmother. I have seen my mother for a Mother's Day since you moved out of state. I called her on Mother's Day and she was crying. She missed her mom. I missed them both.


I also hate Mother's Day because...well...because I am not a mother. OK, OK, I get the sentiment for being a stepmom and an Aunt and all that. And don't get me wrong, I love to be included. But it is really hard now that I am trying to have a child and it is just not happening. OK it's really hard to explain and I am probably being petty, and I really should be grateful, but sometimes it's hard. But, until I become a mom of my own I will relish the times I spend as the Auntgodmommystepmom.

Until then...I still hate Mother's Day.