MotherClucker!

One of the biggest problems in marriage is that husbands say one thing, wives hear something totally different. For example:

Hubby: Wow, those pants look good across your butt.

Wifey: Negro, are you saying I'm fat?

The thing is I don't think that it is intentional. I think that over the years as women we have become so insecure about our bodies and relationships that be have trained ourselves to think the worst. I have believe that I have one of the worst cases of this on record.

Lately I have had a tendency to get overly angry. I think it is the stress of worrying about the business and really hoping that we are not throwing our money into something that will not work. That coupled with all the foolishness that has been going on in my world has just had me on the edge.

So I guess I have just been fed up with the people in my tiny world. Sometimes I feel I have to be über protective of me and Hubby.That said one of our business partners called Hubby one day and was really upset that he had not been included in some meeting we had recently. He told Hubby that he felt he was being unprofessional and went on to tell him about how much he was giving up to make the project work. Now me being me, went into overdrive because quite honestly, at this stage I really don't think that folk have given up quite as much as we have. Most of our partners how could walk away unscathed...Hubby and I would be scathed for awhile.

Anyway, as Hubby is telling this story I am getting madder and madder and finally as much as I don't want it too the cussing and fussing starts coming out. HOW DARE HE CALL WITH THAT MESS! Well, I just could not hold my tongue and went cussing and fussing out of the room.

Now to bring this whole story together I must tell you that right prior to getting this call, Hubby had just come home with some chicken from Popeye's. It was a snack since we had decided that neither of us wanted a full meal that evening. Hubby brought back for me a spicy chicken breast and a biscuit. Contrary to most of my visits to Popeye's this spicy breast was straight out the grease. Yeah...that's good eating.

Anyway, after I calmed down, I came back to have the conversation about what really happened on the phone with Hubby but he did not want to talk about it. After several minutes of arguing about why he did not want to talk about it, he stands up, holds up his arm and swipes all his food to the floor.

GASP!!!! What the F***!! This fool has lost his damn mind. Now, right here is where the communication gap started:

He Said: I don't want to talk about it and THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER!

I HEARD: Shut up, Bitch.

OOOOOOH a sistah was mad now!!

Hubby at this point walks off. Now I am just not gonna let that fool sling Popeye's spicy and red beans and rice all over my damn kitchen and walk away! What was I gonna do? I have to stand up for all women who have been talked to that way. I did the only thing I could.

As Hubby was walking away...I picked up that spicy chicken breast and biscuit, did my best Hispanic baseball player signof the cross and kiss to Jesus and threw it right straight at him!

Naw Nicca!!!

That moment of triumph was only fleeting. I have learned that it is true that at some points in your life things move in slow motion just like the movies. This was one of those times. As the chicken breast sailed across the room I thought to myself : Damn I really should not have done that. Maybe it will miss. I have never been really good at baseball or any other throw the ball sport so this should hit the wall and I would only have to worry about cleaning off the grease tomorrow.

It didn't.

SHIT!!!

I hit that brother square in the back. Go figure. All those years of trying to be on the girls softball team and I could never catch the damn ball or throw anybody out, but TODAY I hit a fucking homerun with a spicy chicken breat. Ain't this a bitch!

Anyway, of course this lead to a long night of arguing that really was not worth it. As always we made up and vowed never to argue over what someone else said again and to communicate our feelings without yelling. After we talked for awhile Hubby explained that when he said the conversation was over, he meant that there was no way that we could go further without it getting out of hand that we should just stop talking. I explained that that sounded like Shut up, Bitch and I felt I had to do something.

So I agreed that when conversations are getting too heated I will let it go for awhile and cool off. It takes too much energy to fight that hard.

Hubby agreed that he will no longer buy spicy chicken breasts for me. He joked that he would keep my chicken eating to McNuggets.

But come on now, don't you think it would be a bit more embarrassing to get knock out by a 6 piece?

Just joking!! Luv ya, Bear!

Conversations with Mommie # 7,646

I know I have said before that most times conversations with my mom have already begun by the time she picks up the phone. There are no salutations. We just jump right in. Friday's conversations was priceless:

(Ring)

Now remember, I made the call:


Mommie: Shan, what does friends with benefits mean?

Me: Huh?


Mommie: This friends with benefits thing. They are talking about it on TV. What's that?

Me: (Long sigh) Well, Ma, that is when a person has a friend that y'all are really cool and you just have sex whenever you need to well...fuck. No commitments, and the friendship is still strong.

Mommie: Oh...

Now there is this long pause so I know she is thinking of something.

Mommie: Hell...I did that for years...I did not know there was a technical term for it.

Me: Um...I don't even remember what I called you for...Imma call you back!

Mommie: I love The View. Now that Whoopi is on there I learn so much!

Gotta love her!

Women...

So Hubby and I went to Happy Hour at a local club this past Wednesday. We went with a friend that we had not seen in awhile who was celebrating his birthday and the fact that he was still alive. He is in the military and had recently been burned badly when an explosive that was not supposed to be alive was just that. He suffered some severe burns on his hands and face, but is recovering nicely. He was blessed to have a good military plastic surgeon who did some miraculous work. Lucky for him, because brother was the really vain type! LOL

Anyway, Hubby, Mr. Marine, and an old friend of mine were at the bar when the Cupid Shuffle came on. Now you know, no good respectful black person can sit still when any form of shuffle, slide, or song requiring us to all get up and do the same thing comes on. I think that might be why that damn Superman song is so popular (YOOOOOOUUUUUUU).

Anyway, Old Friend pulls me up to go dance with her and according to Hubby not 30 good seconds later a woman walks up to him and mentions that she saw an article about him in a local paper. Now, I admit it was a nice article with a really good photo of my handsome Hubby. I was proud of it...I guess she was too. Cause this heffa says to my Hubby. "I bet I can suck your dick better than your wife can."

I know you think you read that wrong so I will give it to you again.


"I bet I can suck your dick better than your wife can"

Now two things here: one, are women so desperate that they KNOW that a man is married and will go this hard toward him? And two...well she really does not know me that well (you decide what I am talking about).

I am really not much of a club go-er now that that I am older and married. I had my fair share back in the day. I can remember many times that me and the girls have had a few drinks (sometimes too many) and danced the night away. I can admit that I met many men during our nights out, but I don't think I ever went at someone this hard. ESPECIALLY if I knew he was married. Well, I might have let him buy the drinks for the night, but that was about it. Amazing!

Women complain that men do not treat them right. That men are disrespectful and that they cheat. But if this is how you are putting yourself out there, just what kind of man do you think you will attract? In the words of Katt Williams: What's wrong with you, Simple Bitch, that you keep getting ain't shit niggas? Or niggas that cheat or lie to you. Maybe it is what you are putting out there? Shit attracts flies.

Hubby and Mr. Marine both gave her the side eye. And Hubby said:

"I think you better move. My wife will cut a bitch."

Glad he knows that.

Men....

This will be a very short post. At least that is what I am telling myself as I start. Here is my pet peeve for this month:

Men who don't let me finish a sentence!!

This is really bothering me. I think my new business is going to involve me dealing with a lot of men. And I know, for the most part they are trying to be helpful, but damn!! Sometimes, I really do have something to say. And, believe it or not, sometimes, I really do NOT agree with you. And yes, I do remember the things you tell me when it involves my damn money!! I know I am new at this...and I am completely aware that I am going to do somethings wrong, but at least, gentlemen have the common courtesy to let me complete a sentence.


MOO, Dammit!!

Moo Jesus

I have learned over the last several months that if you stop sometimes and think, you can find the lesson that the Lord and life is trying to give you. Sometimes in this world because of the all the crazy we are forced to deal with the lesson is harder to get. Believe me, I have had a hard time lately being able to find the lesson amid all the crazy. And, though it is hard for me to believe, I know that I am on someones list as a crazy person.

Awhile back I got into some investment property for a friend and it is really becoming hard to deal with. I have bitched and moaned about this situation to almost everyone I know, except the person that I truly have the problem with. That is wrong of me, and I might should stop writing about this situation right now, but then you really would not understand the story. What started as a favor has turned into something that is causing me thousands of dollars. As a matter of fact, on a daily basis, there is something new that must be overcome. Out of pocket. And yes, it is Christmas time people (!!!) and that new Louis Vitton purse and the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and Eagle Eye look like they might not make it under my tree!!

Well, anyway as I was on my way home this morning from dealing with another issue with this same property and cussing at no one (which I am sure makes me look sane as I am driving down the highway), I noticed a bunch of cows sitting in a field. This is nothing new. Those same damn cows have been in that same field as long as we have lived on this side of town and I see them most every day when I am on my way home. At least I think they are the same. Some may have gone to hamburger heaven over the last two years that we've been here. Well anyway, today I noticed that instead of walking around grazing, they were all just lying as a group in the middle of the field. When I thought about it, I realized that they usually lie down on days when it looks like it is about to storm. Sure enough it was overcast (was I so mad I missed that?). When the storm is over, they get up and continue doing their cow business. You know, grazing and manufacturing manure.

So where the hell am I going with this?

I think sometimes you have to just sit down and wait out the storm. You do what you need to do for yourself and not put yourself in a dangerous position. For example, with all the trees in the field they were sitting in the middle. Any middle school student knows that you don't stand under a tree in a storm. I guess cows know that too. I don't think it means that you don't have emotions or feelings, but if you just wait it out and do what you need to do (in the cows case, lying down)eventually the storm will pass and you can keep going on your merry cow way! MOO!!

I don't know if God still gives signs. Back in the day he did things like send hoards of locus, light a bush on fire, or afflict the population with boils (and come on, do we really want him to go back to that!). I think now our lessons come more subtly and probably more frequent. We just have to be open and be responsive to them. My mother said that this whole situation is preparing me to handle other situations that are coming up in my life in a better way. I must worry about me and my bottom line first. I have a bad tendency to worry about how a situation is going to affect someone else. The effect is usually something will happen that will make that person(s) not worry about me. It has happened more than once, but I am not too sure about it happening again.

So...will I be mad about this whole situation again tomorrow? OK, yes that is not going to change. Hey, I'm human and that will most likely happen. Will the anger last as long, probably not. Thanks to the cows I know that I need to just lie back, do what needs to be done and wait for the storm to MOOOOve on (OK now that really was funny).

MOOOOOOOOO!

Happy Turkey Day

I had the pleasure to spend this weekend in a car with Hubby, my 3 nieces, nephew and my sister on a 10 hour drive to Mississippi. All I can say is that I really love my mom!!


The weird thing is that this entire weekend was actually fun. My mother lives in the middle of no where. I know there cannot be any more than 1000 people in there, and I really think I am being gracious. However, when they put on a Thanksgiving dinner, they don't pull out any stops. I have not had a Thanksgiving with my family since my grandparents passed. And although these people were only my family by default, it was really nice to just be with folk who enjoyed laughing, eating and enjoying each other's company.

My sister and I don't often get to spend time together. I am sure she does not know this, but I just loved being with her and her kids this weekend. We have started out new family football tradition. I really think that my niece had the speed to be the start on her powder puff team next year. I think I will start calling her 'Bruiser'.

What I think I liked best about this weekend was that I did not have to think. There was no conversation about the store, no anger about friendships, no money issues, just family and fun.


The way Thanksgiving should be.

Going to the Chapel of Love

So I get this text message yesterday morning from Crimes Legal saying that she and her fiance were headed to the courthouse yesterday to marry and that they would love for us to join them. In my world 'us' usually refers to a small group and before you could say " I wonder who else got this" my phone rang.

It was Ms. Athens who was just recently back in town after a week in Hawaii (I'm so jealous) and the always 2 hours behind schedule BFP calling to discuss this text message. My cell phone rang at exactly the same time Hubby's cell phone rang. At that moment I knew that this small ceremony was really going to be the social event of the season and I immediately began thinking of what I should wear that would be courhouse wedding affair chic. After a brief conversation, I told Athens that I would pick her up within the hour and that she should see if she could talk her dad into making me a bacon, egg and cheese to go.

I picked up Ms. Athens (without the requested BEC), and we headed off to the courthouse! I was kinda excited. This was kinda cool. It was like something that you would see on a reality show or read in an Eric Jerome Dickey novel. Since Crimes called to tell us that she was running late, we stopped at a local bakery. We decided that even though this was not her official wedding, every bride needs a cake (and a good pair of shoes but we did not have that kinda time). I was hoping to find a simple white cake at the bakery, but no luck. The only thing I could find was a rum cake. Hell, sounded good to me. We like rum. We like cake. So off to the courthouse we went rum cake in hand!!

Soon everyone was at the courhouse, including one friend who I am not sure was the best man or just EXTREMELY overdressed for so early in the morning. We can be loud as a group and since we still had some folk to wait on ( I bet you can guess who one of those folk were...don't know yet...keep guessing) we cheered on all the other couples that were gettng married that day. When all the wedding party had finally arrived, it was time to start the show!

As always, I had my camera and proclaimed myself the photographer for the event. In the back of the courhouse is a little spot called the Arbor of Love. Now, I am not sure who they got to come in early on a Saturday and put this together, but it is an outdoor gazebo with ivy and little birds stapled all over it (PETA would be hot as hell about this). In a weird way it was kinda romantic. All of us piled in and waited for the officiant.

Now, this is where is gets blurry because I was trying to capture the moment, keep CD's husband from saying anything out of hand, not hit my head on the Arbor of Love and listen to the woman preforming the ceremony. Something about what she was saying was not right. When I looked over to her I noticed she had no teeth. ( Jesus be some Efferdent and help this sistah secure some dentures in her mouth! )How can you be a part of someones special (or as she said it speeshull) day without any damn teeth? I know that the city pays them well and has a dental plan. It is my hope that she had a bad time with some popcorn the night before and irritated her poor gums because that was just uncalled for. I think her not having teeth is an everyday thing. I tried to get a picture because I KNEW no one would believe this, but she was too quick for me and kept turning her back or holding up her hand. I guess no teeth makes you pretty darn quick.

Anyway, with many cheers, hugs and love, we helped Crimes move into the next stage of her life. I wish you much luck and love, my friend.

The Perfect Role Model

(If this is Today's Black Woman, we are all screwed)



My people are AMAZING!!

Crimes Legal and I once talked about creating a blog called "Black Caucus". On this site we would discuss things that we as a people need to sit down, talk out, and do better about. Black folk have a lot of things to "do better" about.

We find as many things as possible to separate us as a people. We separate by skin, hair style, weight, socioeconomic levels, education...just anything we can come up with that will try to make us seem better than our fellow man. My Black Caucus issue of today is who we choose as role models.

When I first heard about Karrine Steffans it was all about the hype of her first book "Confessions of a Video Vixen". I will admit that being the gossip junkie that I am, I read the book with fervor. Soon after she was on the talk show circuit, of course promoting her book. I thought she was a beautiful well spoken woman, and what she had to say was so necessary.

She said...and on Oprah no less (gasp!!)...that she wrote this book to tell girls about the bad side of being a video model and how that road could lead to you losing yourself. She told graphic stories in her book about all the men she had slept with and how she ended up doing adult videos and anything else to make a buck. Her impassioned interview on Oprah told of how this life was behind her and how she was changing her life for her and her son. It was beautiful...I think I may have shed a tear (OK, not really).

I remember thinking WOW this chick has turned her life around. I really hope that some girl sees this or reads the book and know that she can change after leading and living such a hard life. What a great role model.Now I know how stupid that thought was.

Well, all that dick sucking must have gone to her head (no pun intended) and to the rest of the media also. She has another tell all book and she is on the cover of most every magazine, on radio show and any other type of interview being as vulgar as she can be. I heard her on the Jamie Fox Show and I was just amazed at what was coming out of her mouth. And Black folk are looking at her as a role model. RIDICULOUS! I have read a couple articles where she is saying that she is just a normal girl...but a few pages later there she is with her butt poked out with a new video, or with almost nothing on on the cover of a men's magazine. All this and you get mad when someone refers to you as Superhead...the name you copyrighted for yourself!!! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

This woman has a son and I wonder how he is going to feel about woman when he grows up? What can she tell him? When your mama is known for being the best dick sucker in the free world, just what can she say to you to make you respect women? But here she is on the cover of a magazine...telling us how she is just a regular girl.

So here's a thought: Be your own damn child's role model. Stop looking for someone else. No one should be better than you to show your child how to make it in this world. There is no one better than a mom to show a daughter how to be a strong successful woman and carry herself like a lady. There is no more perfect example of being a man than a father that is there and guides his son. The folk that we are choosing (or that the media is choosing for us, hmmm??, that's a thought) are just not what we want our kids to grown up and become.

I am going to start working to day make sure I am a role model for my kids!!

(God forbid it is Superhead..yeah chick, I said it)

Why Did I Get Married?

Today was the second time I have seen the movie "Why Did I Get Married". The first time was with another married couple and today was with a friend of mine who had not seen it, but did not want to go alone. Since there are few movies that show Black folk as real people (not just pimps, 'ho's, and crackheads), I had no problem sitting through a second showing.

This time as I watched I thought of a friend that is going through some marital problems and I really took a minute to think about just why we get married. More often than not I think we do it for security, or because we feel our clock is starting to tick a bit too loudly. I think we are looking for some specific need and sometimes someone comes along at exactly the right moment to fill that need. I think there are many times that we are trying so hard to fill that need that we miss out on some of that person. What I mean is we miss some of the common sense everyday things that we need to know about a person that will make the marriage run smoothly. Doesn't mean we don't love the person, just means that we missed some things.

Mind you...these are just everyday things.

For example, Hubby does not pick up anything. I can pretty much tell you where he has been in the house by the stream of lights that he leaves on in the morning. We have talked about how much this irks the hell out of me. And quite frankly, it really is nothing new. When we dated he did this same thing, though I swear not as much, and I picked up and kept moving without it being a problem at all. I loved him, he was my boo. Still is.

Now Boo leaving his stuff all over is just boo-boo!

There have been many discussions about it, a few fights and though it has changed some it has not changed completely. I still follow behind and pick up and flick off lights in the morning. In the grand scheme of things it could be much worse. He could be the kind of husband that is not here in the morning, or is turning on the lights somewhere else. It has become one of those strange things in our marriage that is just something that we (and by we I mean I) accept. For example, my grandmother never fed my grandfather from a paper plate based on a (ahem) conversation they had many years before. Just a part of being married.

So, will I leave Hubby based on the socks and clothes on the floor? Never. Will we argue about it. Of course, and frequently. And sometimes I will just leave the socks on the damn floor for awhile. What am I? The maid. Do you see a 'hello my name is Hazel" tag? No! But it is a part of the package. I am sure that he would complain about something I do, but I have no faults. Well, some, but you would have to read his blog for that.

By all means, I think a person should get out if they have tried absolutely everything. If there is no love, peace, or emotional security. But for the most part you should do whatever to make it work. I guess what I am saying is what Janet Jackson's character kept saying during the movie: "It will work, if you do the work". So, my friend, if this is what you really want, you have to find a way to do the work. I don't think things are ever perfect, but I do think it is worth the work.

Luv ya!

Doctor Jassi

For whatever reason this weekend I had the worst stomach ache. I was hardly able to stand up. It happened suddenly as most illnesses do with me. I remember my best teacher friend was always amazed at how I could be perfectly well in the morning, and by lunchtime, have lost my voice, have a runny nose and a fever. I always called it the demon flew because I knew those kids came from home super contagious.

Well, this time Jassi was here to make sure I was all better. I don't know how much she really helped the situation, but it was truly funny to see her worry about me like she does her dolls when they are 'sick'. Her diagnosis process was just funny:

J : I need to tell you how to feel better.

Me: Huh?

J: I need to tell you how to feel better. Let me do the test.

Me: The test?

J: Yep!

Me: Will it hurt?

J : Maybe. I don't think so.

Me: Will you leave me alone and let me go to sleep after?

J : I promise.

Me: Hurry.

She put her hand on my head to check my temperature and then walked three feet away from me and put up two finger and asked me "how many?". I answered. She put her hand under her chin said "hmmmm" and told me I needed to get some sleep.

Go figure.

EXACTLY 15 MINUTES AFTER I FELL ASLEEP I feel these two eyes staring at me. I open one eye and there is Doctor Jassi.

J : I have the answers to your test.

Me: Then can I go to sleep?

J : Sure!

Me: Hurry.

J: You have a tummy ache and you need to sleep for awhile. I will wake you when Hannah Montana come on.

Me: Okay, Jassi.


This child has a future with an HMO.

Ain't this A Bitch!!!

I am angry today....actually I am mad. When I was little, my grandmother used to say that only dogs get mad, people have emotions and get angry. We were always taught to control our emotions.

Well, I guess I am a female dog...a bitch, per say, because today I am mad.

It amazes me that people can masquerade as your friend for years and they are consistently stabbing you in your back. I have (or at this point, had) a friend that I have just (within the last 24 hours, mind you) found out that one of her main hobbies is lying to folk and then lying to her family and other friends to cover it up. I am find out that her latest lies have been about me. Ain't that a bitch?

Last night I was a dog...a bitch I say...because Goddamn it, I was mad!

I come from a family of women who, although we can be quite proper and bougie, can cuss like sailors. My dear old proper Southern cussing grandmother once told me that sometimes you have to speak to people in a language that will make them listen to you or that you know they understand. So here goes...


This bitch has the audacity to tell folk that I am not paying my mortgage on a house that her fuck ass is renting. Now, she declined to tell her mom, dad, baby daddies (yeah I mean DADDIES, plural) and sister that it really is her bitch ass that not paying rent. Since the house is mine, I have been paying the mortgage each month, in essence, paying this simple bitches rent. Ain't that a bitch? I guess when you try to help a fuck bitch out you get just that...FUCKED.

I am not a fighter. I have never been able to fight and those that have known me for some time know this. I am not one to throw blows. Quite frankly, I only weight 130 pounds on this 5'9 frame so my punch would not really pack too much of a wallop. I admit I can't fight. I cut bitches. I catch their asses off guard and I cut bitches. Last night, Hubby remanded me to my car because he knew I was about to sneak and cut a bitch.

When I take a moment to stop and think about this shit, I realize that I am not really mad, I am more hurt. For years I have thought that this girl was a pathological liar (OK here's an idea...let's call her Patty) but I have always chosen to believe her because she was my girl. Even when things just did not make sense, I was still on her side. Come to find out Patty has been lying about EVERY THING. This fuck bitch even had the nerve to tell me that he father had cancer and was taking chemo and her mom had to quit to take care of him. All a lie!! And get this, even after her mother, sister, and even her DAD confirm that the man is not sick, she sticks with the story that he is. What the fuck!?


WHO THE HELL LIES ON THE HEALTH OF THEIR PARENTS!

Ill tell ya who..THIS simple Bitch! She even goes as far as to write a bad check off her mother's account! What kinda of Bitch does this...oh yeah...a Simple Bitch!


I am just mad...I can't seem to get past it and I think I am going to have to take some time to myself and get back on track. I feel mad, hurt, betrayed...all that shit rolled up in one and right now, I really do not know what I am going to do about it. Know your friends folk...simple bitches will creep into your life and you will not know it until it is TOO late.


I'm going to get a damn drink...

When Black Women Attack!
by Shayla V. McClellon
Listen I know as soon as you read the title of this article you will try to hold back a belly laugh, because you know exactly where I’m going with this.

I also know that when a black woman attacks it can be a beautiful thing or a very ugly thing to see. And mind you, once you see it you will never forget it. Now where shall we begin? I say with our love relationships, on an average, every love relationship, no matter what the criteria, has their moment of confrontation. You know how we women are; we will let you men hang yourself and then look at you like you’ve been dipped in stupid once the truth finally is revealed.

Sometimes we will even help you hang yourself; for instance, I knew this person who thought her boyfriend was cheating on her but she wasn’t sure, until opportunity came knocking her way. They shared an apartment together and one-day she was cleaning the family room and saw an instant message on the computer screen. Realizing it was from another female in reference to her boyfriend, she became furious but instead of screaming and shouting to get her frustrations across, she decided to do something else.

Like me, she will wait to reap her revenge. She’ll let it simmer and marinate and just when you least expect it, will then attack. So what she proceeded to do was write down the screen name and changed it slightly. When the time was right she pretended she was the female using the new screen name. One night she instant messaged her boyfriend by using her laptop computer as she sat in their bedroom knowing he was on the internet in the opposite room. He began telling her things like he missed her and so on and so forth, not knowing it was she he was talking to. Well she got the information she needed before telling him it was she in the other room. He couldn’t lie about it because she had the evidence right on her screen.

Yes, we can be just as devious as a Joan Collins, Erika Cain, or Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale. I do think all of society knows when a black woman attacks it ain’t no joke. Especially if you mess with our children, we will eat you up and spit you out. I have to say, if we love you we will protect you, do or die.

I chuckle at something my family did once well maybe more than once. You see we consist of seven girls and one boy. At a family function one-day, a bunch of sisters and a sister-in-law got into a car and went over to my mother’s apartment. Living in a gated community we had to buzz her once we arrived. So as the carload of sisters and one sister-in-law pulled up to the gate a woman in her car, who was not of color was chatting with someone leaving the apartment. She was blocking the entranceway so we couldn’t enter. One of my sisters asked if she could move out of the way. No response from the lady -- she ignored us and continued to chat. We blew the horn and in return, she used a particular finger to express her intolerance.

And as if we were on cue, all the car doors flew open and each sister exited their car. My sister-in-law, who hasn’t been around the family long enough to see that side of us, stared in awe, as we were ready to become a small gang of destruction. Of course seeing that she was out numbered, the woman immediately moved her car.

Now back to our children, being sensitive to any person that someone is abusing tends to wears my patience thin, but here is where I draw the line! When you would have the audacity to use a small child as your sexual prey. The mistake of the day would be that I would happen to be the one approaching you while you’re in the act! Oh girl let me tell you, Jeffery Dalmer would not have anything on me. Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? When black women attack, kill, beat, and bury, what other adjective can I think of? Now here is my disclaimer; I do not recommend any of the responses in this article to any of our readers. Please Don’t Get It Twisted Baby!

How Does God Get Your Attention?

This weekend Hubby and I went to a beautiful wedding held in North Carolina. Usually when Hubby and I go to a hotel we will take a morning and have breakfast in our room and watch a movie. This time I got to pick the movie. I have wanted to watch Evan Almighty for some time. The story is about a well respected man who is elected to Congress. He drives a Hummer, has a huge house, and a family of 3 boys he never sees. His wife wants him to spend more time with the family, and because of work, he end up spending less and less time with them.

Then one day he meets God. I love the "Almighty" movies. Morgan Freeman to me is a perfect choice to play God. For one he reminds me of my grandfather (sans the locks) and he just seems so calm and cool, as I would expect God to be.

Anyway, God asks Evan to build and ark. He is reluctant at first, but God makes it impossible for him to refuse. Poor Evan has animals following him, grows an uncontrollable beard, and begins to look just like Noah. Of course in the process he wins the respect of his family and co-workers.

Here's my question: What does God have to do for us to believe?

During the movie, I kept thinking about this question. Think about it: the man is building an ark, he is being followed by animals two by two...he is growing the beard..but there was no one around him that believed him. Matter of fact, he did not believe it himself and it was happening to him. God did all the things that should have made people (and Evan for that matter) believe but they thought of every reason not too. I mean how often do you have zebras and elephants in your back yard?

For most of the movie Evan fought the impossible. He knew what was expected of him, but chose to fight against it, even though the proof was right in front of him. I guess we have to look at all God has put in front of us and believe in what he wants us to do.

Or end up with a yard full of apes and alligators? LOL!

Dumb Question of the Day...

Ladies and Gentlemen...we have a national emergency. No, not the war or another missing person. No...Bambi is missing. He is being held along with Thumper, Snow White and Cinderella in the Disney Vault!


Where the hell is the Disney Vault?

And why the hell do they hold those damn movies hostage? Today I was watching TV and saw that the Jungle Book is coming back out of the vault in FIVE DAYS!! They really made it seem as if people would be lined up around their local Wal-Mart just waiting for the newly remastered movie to come out on the shelves.

And hey, didn't they just remaster that movie a few months ago?


Just leave the damn movies out of the vault!! If people want to buy any of the Disney movies they will.

FREE BAMBI!!

How does O'Reilly Factor...

Since Shari Sheppard and Whoopi Goldberg have joined the view I am becoming an avid watcher. Actually, I really only like to listen to their views (no pun intended) on the topics of the day. I was so shocked about this morning's subject that I got on the Internet to see if I could find out more.

It is amazing that in this day and age we are seeing so much racism. The whole situation with the Jena 6, Imus, and now O'Reilly. It troubles me to think that their are people who are SURPRISED or AMAZED that Black people could be civil in public, or own their own businesses, or even just order and eat a meal without making a complete ass of themselves.

What upsets me more is that if this prominent person is saying this...what is the average everyday person thinking...or maybe even saying...behind closed doors.


O'Reilly amazed by civility in Harlem restaurant
09.22.07 -- 10:29AMBy Steve Benen
At a minimum, I can't help but think Bill O'Reilly needs to get out more. He explained the other day, on the air, that he and Al Sharpton had dinner together in Harlem, and O'Reilly was amazed by what he found. Regrettably, he wasn't talking about the food.

"[W]e went to Sylvia's, a very famous restaurant in Harlem. I had a great time, and all the people up there are tremendously respectful. They all watch The Factor. You know, when Sharpton and I walked in, it was like a big commotion and everything, but everybody was very nice.

"And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship."


On the same program, O'Reilly was describing his experience to NPR's Juan Williams. "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea,'" O'Reilly said, adding, "You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all."

It might not have been quite so offensive if O'Reilly didn't sound so surprised

This Time Last Year...

At almost exactly this time last year, I was standing outside of my grandparents house wondering how it had all come to this so fast. I was holding hands with Hubby and with some neighbor that I don't remember. I remember thinking that it was a little cooler today than it had been for most of the week. Auntie Dearest's husband was saying a prayer and I remember thinking that his voice was so commanding that the Lord and I am sure several of the Latter Day Saints had surely stopped to listen. I wondered what was happening in my classroom. If DemonSlayer was giving the sub a hard time and if I had left enough work to take them through the day.

I remember peeking one eye open during the prayer and looking around at my two Aunts and my Uncle and Mommie. I wondered just how long they could make it going through this same experience not ten months from burying their mother. I looked at my sister and nieces and nephews and could not fathom being in their shoes...they had recently lost two other grandparents in less than a month.

I remember declining to get into one of the family cars and opting to get into my own with Hubby and listening to jazz on some satellite radio station. I remember all the rest...the ride to the church and the sermon by the minister that was my grandfather's running buddy as a youth. I wonder of preaching this sermon made him think at all of his own mortality.

What I could have never peeked up and thought of was how this day would completely change my life up until this very moment the following year.

The lost of my grandfather let me say some folk for who they really are, and let me learn about how vulnerable I can be...and for that matter how strong I can be also. I have learned that the family that you are born into is just that...what you are born into, with all the DNA links and family traits. I have learned that just because you look alike does not mean that you think alike and that sometimes things are just your cross to bear and your duty to uphold.

Change creates character.

I am not going to call anyone on that DNA list today. I am not going to use the day to try to recoup some family. Today I am going to meditate and pray on what we were, and what we may be again and on what I can do to celebrate the life of two people that I have lost and loved dearly. Do you stop loving people after they die? From personal experience I can say no.

This time last year, for better of for worse has changed me into a completely different person this time this year.

A Lot To Think About...

This weekend was fun and extra special. Crimes Legal made the decision to go back and get her BA about a year ago. This Saturday, she walked across the stage with all her family and her girls shouting loudly and cheering her on.

It is a great feeling to finally accomplish something that you really want to do. During the ceremony, I could not help but remeber when I walked across that stage. I could not decide whether I wanted to cry, laugh or jump for joy! As I sat there I thought of all the other things in life I want to do and I started wondering...just why have I not gotten started? What the hell is the hold up?


I got a lot to think about.

Things I am Learning About Life...

It has been awhile since I have written anything. This morning is special though. It is quiet in my house (except for the sound of my washing machine) and I am in my own little spot, catching up on emails and watching as it is both rainy and sun shiny (ok that is not a real term) out of my office/spare bedroom. I have been thinking a lot lately about how life changes and if we are ever truly happy.

I moved to Miami in search of happiness. I found someone who loved me, and I wanted to make a change. Make some new friends, live in a new place. Now when I got to Miami it just was not the spot for me. Too crowded, too hot, it is just one of those spots one should visit for the parties on the weekend but never, EVER live there. Once I got back up North, I realized that a lot of what I wanted to do I did. I just never acknowledged it because I was so busy wanting to get back to my old life. When I look back on it, I was more happy than not.

I think that people, at least me, are always looking to be happy and in looking you miss out on what is happening right in front of you. Good things are not necessarily where you are it's what you are doing, and a good amount of time who you are doing it with.

So that said, going into this 3?th year, I am going to stop worrying about the next thing and do the things that make me happy now. So I am sure that means some things will change, there may be new friendships, some old ones may be lost. There will be some new work, and some old work maybe lost or at least put on the back burner. But either way, I am learning that life is short, things change quickly and you must do and experience all you can in that short about of time.

Be Happy!

The King Of The White Women...

On a regular, I blog surf. Meaning when I am bored and tired of working I check other miscellaneous blogs just to see what people are thinking and to catch up on the latest gossip. Today I ran across this article:


http://allhiphop.com/blogs/djsproducers/archive/2007/08/27/18438140.aspx



Now, until I read this I had no idea who Palow Da Don was. I am learning that he is a producer and has produced many songs that I have danced to in my early morning post shower dance routine (OK, too much information). In this article he goes on to explain how he is "King of the White Girl" and the reasons why he dates them. I really have no problems with Black mean dating White/Asian/Hispanic women. I just need the reason to STOP being because Black women are too strong, too independent and question too much. Well, here's a thought: Maybe we are that way because of Black MEN.

There are many good Black men. I am lucky enough to believe that I have found one. But I remember all the frogs I had to kiss to get to this one, and I admit that while kissing this frog I had many questions running though my mind. People react to things based on past experiences. Many Black women have had some really bad experiences with Black men. So, as a survival tactic our mothers/aunts/grandmothers have taught us to be on guard and to take care of ourselves. Just in case. And I will be the first to admit that sometimes we go overboard with that self sufficient thing. It takes a while for us to soften up. It does not mean that we don't know how to take care of our men. When we love, we love hard. But it also means that we will not let you run the Okey Doke on us.

So look, Guys, let's come up with a new excuse. If you just want to date another race, cool. If you just happen to fall in love with a White woman, cool. When you love someone you just love them. Nothing you can do about it. And if that is the case, I will dance at your wedding in my best red dress. But don't blame independence, or the fact that we will not let you play us be the blame.


So quit 'cha bitchin', Black man, grab ya nuts and man up!

Jena 6

It always amazes and saddens me to hear that these type incidents still happen today. What is sad is that I would expect it to happen with adults. Well, not expect, but I could accept it more. What is sad/scary is that this is with children. And the truly sad part is that what is HAPPENING to the children, as a result of this foolishness that I am sure has been perpetuated by their parents, is being done to them by ADULTS who really should know better.

There is a fund to help this child pay for his attorney. I am sure there will be a cry for others who will need help soon. I guess I need to pull out my debit card.

This is madness!



Charge reduced in 'Jena 6' case
Change made on day jury was to be picked

By Howard Witt | Tribune senior correspondent
June 26, 2007
Article tools
HOUSTON - The district attorney prosecuting a racially charged beating case in the small Louisiana town of Jena abruptly reduced attempted-murder charges Monday against a black high school student accused of attacking a white student, drawing cautious praise from civil rights leaders who contend the charges were excessive and part of a pattern of uneven justice in the town.

Mychal Bell, 16, a former Jena High School football star, and five other black students had been facing the potential of up to 100 years in prison if convicted of attempted murder, conspiracy and other charges for the December beating of the white student, who was knocked unconscious but not hospitalized. The incident capped months of escalating racial tensions at the high school that began after several white youths hung nooses from a tree in the school courtyard in a taunt aimed at blacks.

But as jury selection was about to begin in Bell's case Monday, District Atty. Reed Walters reduced the charges to aggravated second-degree battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated second-degree battery, which together carry a maximum of 22 years in prison. Walters, who is prosecuting Bell as an adult, also offered the teenager a plea agreement including a suspended sentence, which Bell's father said the youth rejected.



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Trials for the other five accused in the case have been delayed, and it was not clear whether Walters intended to reduce the charges against them as well. Walters did not speak to reporters in Jena or return calls seeking comment.

The case against the "Jena Six," as the defendants have come to be called by their supporters, received national notice after it was featured in a May 20 Tribune report that detailed how racial animus had divided the mostly white central Louisiana town of 3,000 and erupted into repeated incidents of violence between blacks and whites.

"It certainly looks like the district attorney responded to the scrutiny the media has brought to this case," said Alan Bean, a civil rights activist in Tulia, Texas, who, along with representatives of the ACLU and the NAACP, has been sharply critical of the charges against the black youths. "I don't think he's gone far enough in reducing the charges, but we're certainly in a better place than we were."

Bell's father, Marcus Jones, said Monday that even though his son has been jailed since December and unable to post $90,000 bail, he preferred to take his case to a jury rather than plead guilty to a felony.

"The DA is trying to use my son as a scapegoat for these ridiculous charges," Jones said. "He knows there's no proof showing that my son and those other kids were trying to kill that boy. It was a simple high school fight. How can you turn that into attempted murder?"

Darrell Hickman, an attorney for one of the other youths charged in the case, said he expected the charges against the other defendants would eventually be reduced as well. And he asserted that even the reduced charges would be hard to prove.

"I think the district attorney is still overreaching," Hickman said. "The new charge is aggravated second-degree battery, which requires use of a weapon. There's no evidence that any weapon was involved."

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