It has been a hell of a week.

Yesterday the demon that sits by the door lost her mind and attempted to attack me with her lunchbox. Not a regular lunchbox, mind you, sistah had a circa 1972 metal scooby doo lunch box. I did not even know they still made those. Forget the weapons of mass destruction that Bush claims we are fighting about. He needs to send some troops to South Florida because the true WMD are all in first grade in Miami.

It is really sad now that things like this no longer phase me. I really believe that this is apart of the job, albeit a part that I don't like. I think that it really said that I have become immune to the foolishness that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Any day that I go home and I am not hurt, then hey, it was a good day.

Demon by the Door came back to school this morning with her 37 year old grandfather. He has commit ed himself to raising this child the right way. She is giving him (and me) a run for our money.

I wonder where I can get me one of those lunchboxes though?

Sentimental Journey

My family is still not normal...as if we have ever been truly normal. For the past week or so since the funeral we have not spoken and have said things that have hurt. Those hurts have not completely healed even though there are miscellaneous apologies that are floating around. The apologies have been made through others and not directly to the person that should receive it. We are not good at apologizing. It's sad. At a time when we should be hold each other up, we have been breaking into teams. But, keep in mind, I am dealing with a close knit group that has had reason these last few months to unravel.

I talked to my mom at length last night. She asked me why I was still mad and I told her that, ironically, on my frequent sleepless nights of late while I watch repeats of The Andy Griffth Show and I Love Lucy, I had thought about just that. I think I am most upset over the fact that with all the whooping and hollering about sentimental items, no one has taken anything sentimental.

Most folk don't know it, but I am a really sentimental person. I love to take pictures and I have pictures of every thing and almost every place I have been. I have tons of pictures of the children in my class, the places I've been, friends and family. This weekend I will be helping a friend welcome her new child in the world. I will probably take pictures. I have keepsakes of places I have been, too. Small things that people don't even know I have. For example, in one of my purses I have the cork from the bottle of wine I drank one night when Hubby told me he loves me more than the world. I am sentimental like that.

However, my Aunts, Uncle and Mommie continued to talk about needing to have something sentimental. My Aunt stormed out of the house and into my grandfathers car. She drove off like the proverbial bat out of hell, crying that she needed something of Daddy's. I understood that...or so I thought. I mean, let's face it, until this year they all had both of their parents, could return to their childhood home, spend holidays around the same table that they sat around for all of their lives. Their children got to experience those holidays the same as they did when they were younger. They could share stories and actually have witness to prove that my uncle did feed the horse collared greens and that was the reason it died. The house held so many memories and in less than a year...now it is all gone.

I can understand that...at least I thought.

After everyone and returned to their homes, I went back to the house like a good little executrix I am and inventoried the house. As I walked through, I became angry. I mean, I know one man's sentiment is another man's junk. But some things, I think, are universally sentimental. For example:

My grandfather was an avid photographer. For years, people asked him to photograph wedding and parties. He has our whole history in albums. They are all still there. So are his cameras and videos. He was a sharp dresser, all his clothes are still there. The picture of him that we used for the funeral..still on the table. Our family tree is still hanging on the wall.

I took some things from the house. Things that may not even be missed until someone reads this post. I took a blanket. It was fairly new, but I had seen my grandmother sit on the corner of the sofa and do crossword puzzles with it over her legs. She was ALWAYS cold. My nephew took on of granddaddy's hats and I took one of his caps. He was always a snappy dresser and I am sure that I will be reminded of that each time I wear it.

My being sentimental helped me learn things. What amazed me was I never knew Granddaddy was sentimental, too. On his dresser was a bible. In the bible was the birthdays and anniversaries of most of our family. There was also the newspaper announcement of my wedding. I did not even know that it made it to the paper on time. After leafing through the pages I found the my grandmother's obituary. I could only imagine how he must have felt to clip that, and place it in the book. My grandfather was in the army, and in true military style, they played Taps at the funeral. The solders dutifully folded the flag and gave it to my mother. All of these things are at my home now.

So I question my family and their definition of what is sentimental. And I really hope not to find that all that is sentimental to them is monetary.

Until then, I will sit on the sofa, reading my book, with my grandmother's blanket over my legs. I'm sentimental like that.

Maybe I am My Hair...at Least a Little

I don't even know why this is on my mind. I am a big fan of neo-soul. I love the music because it links soul and blues with a bit of hip-hop and I think it fits my generation so very well. We hip hop babies are getting older now, and we can't keep 'leaning' with it or 'rocking' with it. At some point, when you snap your fingers and do your step, you are gonna put ya back out.

I was watching VH1 Soul last night and this India.Arie song "I am Not My Hair" comes on. OK I have no problem with this woman and I think her music is great. She is a talent. I have to admit I was the first person running around humming that I was 'not the average girl from the video". But, come on now, this chick is taking it TOO far. Must every song be about you and your hair or how much better you are because you refuse to get the Dudley products like the rest of us.

Don't get me wrong...

Ms. Crimes Legal has a head full of the most beautiful locks I have ever seen. OK stop a moment. Why do we always say a "head full"? If the girl was sporting locks around a shiny bald spot that would be another post altogether...me or India wouldn't be able to do or sing a damn thing. Anyway, anytime I see someone with 2 strain twist I want to figure out how I, too, can get the look. I love the look of natural hair. I just really don't have an idea how to get to that point...and I am a little afraid of how I will look in the meantime. I have another friend who at any given moment may sport anything from a natural to a Mary J. Blige blonde weave.
And looks good either way. It amazes me. I just don't have that must confidence. OK yeah...I am scared! I am a big girl, I can admit that. I keep thinking my head will be shaped wrong or I may have a bump up there that needs to be covered by some hair. I would hate to look like Cockroach off the Cosby show (remember that one? HAHA!).

But this chick really has a problem...if you have to sing about it that much then the hair thing really is a big deal for you, India. I understand that her whole point is that we are to love ourselves. So in solidarity with India, I have decided to write my own love song for my hair and the all the hair of the perm girls (same tune as India's song, I am not that talented...at least not yet) Sing it LOUD my straight haired, relaxed sistahs!:

I got me a perm,

My hair is so straight...

I get my naps done today and I can't wait.

Dudley's and Motions...that is all for me...

When my money's tight, there's Dark and Loveeeeely.


Love ya perms, locks, Afros.....do YOU!!

Let Sleeping Demons Lie...

OK....I am really not sure what is happening this year. I kinda think that these children really don't believe that I am stressed and if need be, I will box them Tyson style (old Tyson, not the ear biting tattooed freak-a-zoid we have now).

Same little girl today, The Demon that Sits by the Door.

I really hate to call parents, especially one that works at a school. I feel that you have your own demons to deal with on a daily. Why call you with some extra mess? This girlchild puzzles me. On her good days she is VERY good. Great work, good manners. But on days that she is not feeling it she is really NOT FEELING IT.

This was one of those days.

It all started this morning when I asked them to get ready to start the day. Nothing special, just sit down and get yourself together. It's Friday, we have music first thing in the morning. How can you go wrong starting your day off singing the "Wheels on the Bus" (which I have to admit is one of my favorites..that beep, beep, beep gets me every time). When I came back after music Miss Thing had just lost it. She got on the floor and started kicking the desk. My desk. This bitch done lost her mind. I kept my cool because, if you remember Principal said I should just 'ignore this' and it would stop. Not to mention I did not want to use the security call button. I was afraid that I would get Principal again with yet another child psychology lesson.



I felt like the indians or better yet one of the natives in the Tarzan movies. I would try the ways of the white woman this time. It just might work.

Uh....NAW!

Miss Thing has now decided that she will roll on the floor, scream and kick the desk harder. It was like a Puff Daddy remix of the last time she went crazy. AW, HELL NAW, BOBBY!! In my calmest trying to do what Principal told me to do voice I asked another child to hit the call button. At this point, I would rather talk to Principal than deal with this mess.

Here's where the fun starts: Babygirl jumps up off the floor, runs to the child pushing the button and begins to pull and hit her...the other child is looking at me like "If you don't do something, Lady, I'mma lay this 'ho out". I quickly move to the front of the class and Ms.By the Door hits me. Let me say it again. SHE HITS ME!! WAIT A DAYUMN MINUTE! I started to shake her teeth loose (see previous post) but the nurse for my new student was in the classroom. I don't need witnesses.

I backed up from Ms. By the Door. I had to. I thought I would kill her. But guess what? She walked over to me, looked me dead in the eye, drew back her hand...and THAT HEFFA HIT ME!! The rest of the demons had looks of shock. I think they thought I would kill her. So did the new kid's nurse. Hell, so did I.

I went to push the security button again and this child grabbed me by the hand. In my mind, it was getting harder and harder not to just slap the fool out of her. The kids in the class were so quiet now that I actually turned around to see if they were still there. Good LAWD what would Jesus do? I shook my hands from her grip and she fell to the floor. As she fell she hit her head on the wall. That was the Lord hitting her back for me. Good looking out, Lord!

Security came. The man asked me why I did not shake the fool out of her. I told him I had witnesses. He laughed and took her out.

So here we are. Day almost over and she is back. As I write this she has fallen asleep.

I am going to let my little demon sleep the rest of the day.

Welcome Back!!

So I am back at work today and the Lord or any of the Latter Day Saints must be looking out for a sistah because Mr. Home School is not here today. The day has run smoothly so far. It is sad that you must come back to the demons to have some kind of peace in you life.

I have not slept well in the last few nights. So today I might really just be hallucinating, but I had a decent conversation with Principal today. It went like this:

Principal: Welcome back!
Me: Thank you.


Nothing more. Kinda cool and to the point. I like that! I forgot to bring lunch and I don't feel like going to get anything so today I am going to have a nutrious lunch of lemonade and chocolate covered popcorn. There was something in the cafeteria today that looked close to spaghetti, but I just refuse to chance anything from out of that place. There was maccaroni from hell a few weeks ago. My tummy ain't been right since.

So today, I am just going to take it easy. Get back in the swing of things...but some things behind me and know that everything will get better soon.

I think.

The Ties That Bind....

It has been a terribly long week. There has been a slew of things that needed to be done and things that still need to be done. I have spent the last few days trying deal with some new realities.


I have not slept well in about a week. For whatever reason, some time around 4am my eyes pop open. Once that happens my mind begins to race and I just can't get back to sleep. There are a lot of questions in my head right now and I just can't seem to find the answers. My grandfather left me in charge of his estate. I would think that although there would be a great deal of legal paperwork, the act it self would not be that difficult. My family would never be that hard to deal with. They are rational people. OK, seems they are not and my mind and spirit cannot understand...


I don't think I belong here anymore.

As I talked to Hubby last night, I started to tear up. Maybe the death of my grandparents was the final disconnect for me and my hometown. He countered with " But we have great friends here, we have ties, hell Babe, it's home." Damn lawyers, always gotta damn counter! But I think it is deeper than that. I have always felt that I was home not just because of my friends, but because I knew that no matter where we all moved to (and we have spread out) that at home point everyone comes back to this place because they had that same weird need to be here. As I deal more with my family on legal matters, they make me no longer WANT to come here. I shoulda had this revelation before I had hubby to buy the house. Ooops!!

I question myself now on family...the ties that bind are slowly choking me. My perception of some are changing, my trust in others is fading. Then there are those I just want to knock in the teeth!! (Just kidding...maybe) How do I keep that same 'wanttoneedtobehere' feeling when right now, I don't' want to have anything to do with anyone.


I know something is awry because I miss my demons...even Mr. Home School and the Demon that Sits by the Door. So today, I will take the 5 hour ride to a place that I am starting to think of as home.

A Love Like That...

I have been married for 3 years. Not a lot of time at all relatively speaking. My grandparents were married 60 years. A lifetime in any respect. Yesterday my grandfather died and no one will be able to tell anything different other than he died of a broken heart.


My grandmother died in January. The funeral was not sad because she was gone, it was sad because you could see the pain in his eyes. I remember that during her last few months, she fought to live. He was at her side at every moment. As a family, we were secretly angry that he would not let the doctors 'pull he plug' and let her go. It was quite a few weeks before I thought of how selfish it was of us to even ask him to make that choice. I think when he finally made the decision to pull the plug on her, he pulled it for himself too.

Eddie was 80 years old. To many, that would descibe an old man that was barely able to get around. He was unique. There is no other word for it. He wore his hair braided, drove a sportscar, had a legion of friends and was an avid bowler, a skill I surely do not possess. After my grandmother passed, I noticed that his once upright gait had become slow and his back bent more. He did not laugh like he used to, stayed in the house and did not care too much for company, which for the Cotton's was unheard of. The family threw a big party to celebrate his 80th birthday. He enjoyed himself, but we all knew something or rather someone was missing. I could see it in his eyes, and how he stood to the side of the group often and just stared. I guess when I think about it, I have been watching him slowly leave us for months.

Today, and for the rest of the week, I will be busy trying to console my aunts, uncles and Mommie. For them to loose both parents in such a short time is devastating.

Today and for the rest of the week, I will watch the roles in my family slowly change as my aunts and uncles and Mommie quickly become the new elders in my family.

Today and for the rest of the week, I will run around trying to handle business. This week I will start slowly becoming Mommie.

Today, I am still that little skinny girl that wants nothing more than to have her my grandparents back. I wonder if that makes me selfish? Deep in my heart I know that he is happy because they are together.

Today, they had to be together. It was impossible for them to be in two separate worlds. How many of us find a love like that?

It Takes A Damn THIEF!!!

You know, it is sad that people steal. It is sad-er (if that is a word) at WHAT people will steal.


For instance, I think I have described before that I am a wannabe diva. I have my diva-fab moments. I have this habit of carrying my 'personal' items in a special little bag. The reason I do this comes from a long time back...when I was in eight grade, my teacher felt the need to tell us all the facts of life. Since this was a small private school that only went to eight grade that she should make sure that we knew all about the 'outside' world before we left to most likely attend public high school. I remember how much we looked up to this woman. She was like our mom away from home. We were all very close to her. Her conversations about life were frank and honest. She held back NOTHING.


Yeah...I do have a point...just keep going...


Anyway this one day we saw Ms. McMillian walking around the classroom following these red dots. The woman was bent over at the waist, finger pointing, and every few steps you could hear her say " Now, what is this?" or "Where in the world is this coming from?". She followed the trail zig zag around the room until she came to the desk of a girl in my class. Remember, the woman did not sugar coat anything. She asked her "Girl, is this YOU?" Seems miss thing was on her period and did not go to the bathroom to change her situation. Ms. Mac was beyond furious.

She sent miss thing to the office to call her mom and started a conversation with all of us about being clean women. She had this conversation in front of the boys because she said that needed to always make sure they were with a clean woman, Poor sister downstairs did not know that from that day forward all of the boys in class looked at her as 'unclean'. Anyway, Ms. Mac also made a point to tell us that we should have our supplies with us at all times (just in case) and that we should make sure that we always carried our purse with us when we go to the restroom. Reason: if you only took your purse sometimes people would think AHA! She is on the rag (another term I learned from her that day).

So needless to say, I have always either carried my purse with me or had a nice little clutch that held all my supplies. My supply bag was Coach.

So the other day I called someone to hold my class so I would not leave a trail of my own and in my rush to get back to my demons, left my coach bag in the bathroom. About 10 minutes later, I went back to get it and it was GONE!

Ain't that a bitch? How a nigga stick me for my tampons!!!

I know that since it was a coach case that I will see it again. There will be a faculty meeting or something soon....they will forget they are supposed to hide it. I WILL NEVER FORGET!! When that day comes I am going to take my damn bag back and tell the culprit that they owe me 6 super plus and a 4 always with wings AND the new stay fresh wipe. BELIEVE THAT!!

Just Another Day...

My plan this week was to start anew. I put on a cute skirt set this morning and decided that I would forget all that has happened here at PS 3701 and beginning a new week with my kids. The day was starting of great. I just learned that the school is giving the teacher $250 to use in their classrooms. I have already made a list of the things I will get. By the end of the week my class will be overrun with crayons, pencils...The works. I will never have to ask these raggedy ass parents for anything. WHAT A GREAT DAY!!

AND THEN...

I have a new, new student in my class. The boy is goofy. Now Mr. Goofy has been in this room about a week, and for the most part he does good work. I should be able to deal with goofy if your work is ok. For whatever reason today, I can't even remember why, I asked him how old he was. He said 9.

NINE!!! Whatdaphuck!

I checked his attendace card and sure enough this child was born in 1997! So, off to the office I go to ask them why this child is still in first grade and on the upside, see what I can do to rid my class of one of the demons. "He was retained Ms. Green", was the response. "Well, hell, I can figure that part out!", I said. So after a lengthy back and forth it was determined that he was in first grade, failed, but in the second go 'round only showed up to school for the first 9 weeks. Folk here became outraged! "We will send the social workers to his home and see what happened!" Man, they possed up like Matt Dillion on Gunsmoke.


I just talked to the kid. I figured I would get the most honest answer from him.


The sad thing working here is that you never know just what is going on in these kids lives. Many of them have lived much more "life" than I have. They have experienced things that I have been blessed to have never had to undergo: homelessness, death, being hungry, or just someone who plain just does not want them. I even had one student last year that was "posing' for pictures for her mother's boyfriend. What scares me is how freely they can talk about it. It is is like talking to an adult. Then suddenly you really look at the person you are talking to and realize they are only 6...or in this case 9. After talking with Mr. Goofy I learned that he and his mom and siblings were kicked out of there home, and moved into a hotel. He became sick and since they did not have any money, he stayed at home (the hotel) with his mom. How sad not be able to take your child to the hospital when he is sick. My heart went out to his mother. I am sure that at some point, I am going to be hot, mad, and upset with her this year... but right now I think of all she had to go through last year. Maybe he is not so goofy after all...maybe he is just glad to be around some children. Maybe he is just happy to be in school. HMM?

Quickie 2

I am getting old QUICK. I feel it all in my bones. Anytime you have to make that 'OOOW' sound when you get up... you know something is wrong. Today, I am on a mission. I am going to hit my next decade strong. I got 3 years to get right. I need to look like Janet...or a reasonable facsimile of...I mean who am I kidding. LOL

Happy Birthday, Jassie!!

I love lazy Sundays. My favorite pastimes are usually spending time with hubby and friends and making them watch bad black people movies. I don't know why but I love these things. I buy them in bulk in the 3 for $11 bin at Wal-Mart. Back in the day, they called them Blaxploitation films, meaning just another way to exploit black folk and make them look like a fool. Those movies still exist, only now they usually star a C -level rapper or Vivica Fox. Most times, both.

This weekend was special. I spent it with hubby and my stepdaughter. She is turning 6 in 2 days and she is so excited about being a 'big girl'. I was excited for her. I asked her what she wanted to do this weekend and realized how much influence I have had over her in the last 3 1/2 years. She wanted me to take her shopping...she just 'had' to have some new clothes and some shoes to match (that is so me). She picked her outfit and a big pink bag (me, again). She said she needed to have a big bag like me (see?). She needed to carry all her 'personal things', which right now means some stickers, a snack, and a Barbie with a really bad hair cut. She also asked her dad for a Tiffany bracelet. Wonder where she got that from? (tee-hee)

It's weird. Most people don't have a great relationship with their stepkids. I am in love with this child and her brother, Tre. So, as I sat here today and painted her toes and her tiny fingers (pink, what other color is there?) I thought of how much I have enjoyed her being five. I will miss five. I will miss all her silliness. Her laughing loud and long. I will miss her climbing into bed with us in the middle of the night because, as she says, six year olds can sleep by themselves. I will miss her sounding out EV-ER-Y word she sees. Most of all, I will miss her climbing on the sofa with me on these lazy Sunday mornings to watch old movies. Usually, she just climbs under my blanket and falls back asleep, but I love her company anyway. OK, I am sure most of these things will not change with her turning six. At least not soon. But I am sure over the next few years many of them will stop and we will need to find new traditions. So, in that respect, I look forward to six, and seven and all the rest.

Even still, I will miss five.

Quickie...

There is this little boy in my class. His mother is quite over protective and annoying, but he is so cute, I try to look past his mom.

Anyway...today I looked at him from across the room and saw he had this big pimple on his cheek. I was thinking "DAYUMN how do you get acne at 6? That's some mess! So as I walked around the classroom, I came past his desk. I looked at his cheek and there it was...

A BIG AZZ BOOGER!! EWWWWWW!!!!

Ya know I just about died, right?

I QUIT!!!

Yesterday, during yet another meeting telling me all the things I need to change in my classroom, all the centers I had to create, all the things I needed to do with the kids and how many times a day I needed to do them....I packed my bags.

I literally took everything off my desk. Packed up the pictures of my husband, my stepkids, my goddaughter. Packed up my good flip flops that Ms. Crimes Legal got me for my birthday, and decided to call it quits. I looked around the room to make sure I had all the things that I really wanted to keep. The rest I would just leave for the new teacher or for my colleges. That's all for me. The funny thing is that only my good friend realized just what I was doing. She kept giving me the question face. I looked at her with the kool-aid grin.

After the meeting was over, I picked up my box and headed to the car. She asked me what I was thinking. I can only guess that she has never seen me this quiet. At some point during the meeting I had decided not to kill the messenger and to just keep my mouth closed. I told her that what I was really thinking: this job had become overwhelming and that I really could not figure out how to implement all the things they want us to do. Hell, I can't get my parents to take 10 minutes out of their day to buy pencils but I am supposed to be able to differential instruction on 3 different levels for 20 different kids in 2 hours each day. Not to mention work for an hour with 14 different students and yeah, change up the instructions based on individual needs and make worksheets and games and print out material. Oh yeah, and did I mention the school is out of paper? I have to buy my own. Damn this!! Too much. I'm out.

Hubby should be happy with this. He has wanted me to quit for a long time. This is a good decision. He will be proud! I drove home feeling confident like a mudda-phukka.

You know it didn't go quite that smooth, right?

He reminded me that I do this for the children. That to leave right now would make me a quitter. For a moment, I was cool with that. But what if the next person did not do all I try to do with them? He reminded me that God has a great sense of humor and the kid I abandon right now, will be the EXACT same kid that will have to change my diapers at the retirement home. DAYMN.

So I am back today. And I am trying not to let the day get to me. I am trying to do what I can with them and not let myself get overcome with self doubt. Just when I needed yet another sign, I ran into Cedric and his grandmother. This was his second day in school and she wanted to tell me just how much he enjoyed his first day. I will refer to Cedric as the Demon Tamer because my worst student became his best friend and a really good helper.

"Ms. Green, I am normal now" said Cedric the Demon Tamer. Quite profound words. Little did he know I had been feeling a little abnormal lately.

What I have learned from all this is that I have the 'flight' mechanism. When things or people become too "overwhelming" for me, I look for an excuse to leave or move or change something. In some respects that is a good thing. But there are times when I wonder what would have happened had I just had the guts to stick it out awhile.

I guess this will be one of those times that I stick it out awhile. I guess I am normal now, too.

The aliens have landed

Psst....don't tell NOBODY! Someone has taken the students from my classroom. I don't know who these kids are. There must have been some kinda alien abduction and I have clones of the children I used to have. I love the aliens. They have left me with really well behaved kids. Ok there are some exceptions. The aliens did not take the true demons. I guess there was just nothing they could do with Mr. Home School, and the Glue Eater. And there was NOTHING they could do with the Demon that Sits in the Back.

These new kids scare me...for example...today, I asked if the children individually if they needed to use the restroom before lunch. They answered " No, thank you" and "Yes, please". I will be the first to admit that shit threw me completely for a loop. I looked at one of my former demons and asked "Do I know you?" She answered, "Yes, Mrs. G. Are you OK?"

I like these clones....I hope they stay awhile. For all I care the old demons have been kidnapped by aliens. I bet they are giving the aliens a run for their money...or whatever aliens use.

These new aliens are smart too.

Today we are standing outside of the cafeteria. We had worked on nouns earlier this week and have displayed our work on the door. I took a second to talk to a teacher and when I looked up there was principal, all in the face of one of the kids. Aw Dayumn!!

So here we go:

Principal: So tell me what is a noun?

Alien: Um....it is a person, or a place. (close enough)

Alien2: It can be a thing, too.

Principal: So is a car a noun?

Alien: That's a thing so yeah.


By this time I am close enough to hear what she is saying. She looks up. I really did not want a conversation, but what the hell:

Me: Is everything ok?

Principal: Yes, I just walked by your door and saw the nouns quilt and I was just
wondering if they really knew what that meant.

Me: Oh really, now? (at this point I am not sure if I was to be insulted or what?)

Principal: I am amazed they really know. (BINGO, insulted)

Me: Yep, they are on the ball.


I am so proud of these new alien children. I hope they stay around.

I think she just likes to say really crazy things in order to get a reaction. One day I am going to give her a reaction that she just might not like.

Personal Theme Music..

My Partner in All Crimes Legal has a blog also . Her posting a couple days ago was about your "Personal Theme Song". Before I even pulled up her blog I tried to think of mine. Ironcially, it was the same as her's: "Take Me As I Am". That damn MJB song hits home for me everytime I hear it.

I think everyone has felt the way she sings about in that song. We've all be talked about, wrote about, lied about. We have friends, or folks that we think are friends, become jealous of us for reasons we just can't explain. When I listen to that song I think of all the things that Ihave gone through. Some things that I still go through. For whatever fool reason, folk think that I don't go through a lot. But heatbreak, regret, depression, sadness...all those things happen to everyone and as much as you may not like it, how you come through it makes you a better (or in some cases worse) YOU.

I know a lot of things that people have said about me that they don't know that I know. Those things hurt for a long time and affect how I treat them and others. For the most part, the Pisces in me tries to come up with the 'ways' and the 'whys'. I usually try to think of what was going on in their life at the time. Hubby says I think too much. Maybe what was said was just out of anger or jealousy or some type of pain in their own lives. I know I have been angery at or jealous of folk many times. And the funny part is, sometimes I was not sure why. The key to learning from all that is reflected in how I let that effect my life and my relationships with others. Do I let it make me bitter or angry or does it make me a stronger, wiser person?

So, I guess the words in the song are true:

Yes she's older now Yes she's wiser now Can't disguise her now, she don't need No one telling her what to do and say No one telling her who to be She's on solid ground She's been lost and found But she answers to G-O-D And she's confident this is not the end

Ask me how I know cause she is me

I Propose A New Holiday...

Last week was a really rough week for me. This weekend as I sat around and nursed both myself and hubby well from the sick, I thought about all the events of last week. I thought about the children, their parents, even the people I work along side. I thought about all the things that had me so riled up for the week. After I thought about it, I took some time to just exhale.

As a people, we have lost control of our children.

There is this saying that it takes a village to raise a child. The village is no more. The villagers have abandoned it. We are so consumed with ourselves that we have forgotten that we still need to look out for each other. We need to look out for each other's children. We put them off on any and everyone else. That person usually only does it for profit. I don't remember a lot of kids having to go to day care or summer camp when I was little. There was always a Mama or Grandma or Mu'dear. Oh yeah, and Big Momma, too!

I think back when I was a child. I was raised in village, so to speak. The village was between 6 and 13th streets and bordered by Kings Road and Myrtle Avenue. Sometimes we were allowed to cross that village line, but there always seemed to be someone in that other 'village' that was linked to your village. We got away with NOTHING (well, almost). There were universal rules that all children in every village knew to follow. My grandparents and great grand-parents knew someone on every block in what must have been a five mile radius of my house. They would report the village goings-on of me and my playmates. We were never lost. There was always an elder in the village to protect us. As children we had the freedom to explore everything, and guardians to make sure we got away with nothing! I knew that if I pulled some silly stunt 3 blocks down the road, that not only would I hear it from Mrs. Rodgers (all the kids called her Auntie), but that by the time I made it home before the streetlights came on (remember that?!) my grandparents would know also. Dayumn... and this was before the cell phone or 2 way. I remember my friend Jo-Jo and I got 2 billy beatdowns and 3 cussing outs one day on our way home from doing something we just SHOULD NOT have been doing (just how Auntie saw that, I will never know!) Doing something silly in my five mile world could result in multiple punishments. No parent got upset. They understood the needs of the village and did their best to raise the child. From those punishments I learned respect and responsibility. I also learned that it might not be so smart to pull the skinny branch from the tree for my 'whuppin'!

We have lost that. The village no longer takes care of the child. How sad!

I look at some of my students this morning, some that have come back to school this week with a new attitude (Miss Thing from last week...grandpa did something. It has been a good day!) and some that are still giving me issues (glue eater) and some that just are an all day affair (remember Mr. Home School?) and I think to myself what can we do now, that we did back then, that would help them?

I thought of the whippin's. HMMMMMM?

Naw, can't do that because then we would all be in jail. So I propose this: Tomorrow, let's have the first ever 1/2 day holiday. We can start around 10. As a people we need to work on that late thing, too. That will be another holiday. No, we can't beat up folks children, but you can SHAKE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!

Pant's sagging around the ass? SHAKE 'EM!!

Talking back? SHAKE 'EM!!

Taking all grown!! SHAKE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM!!


Now really you can't go around shaking folks children (unless it is your child then shake until their teeth rattle), but you can at least shake your head and say a quick prayer that somewhere that child gets the guidence that they need. Maybe you can even be that guide.

We need to get back in that village mindset. Quick.

Let's Get Ready to RUUUUUUMMMMBLE!

So today, I had to tussle with a 6 year old.

Ain't that some mess.

I am really upset about this thing. It was all over a pizza party that the child was not allowed to attend because of behavior. She just fell out on the classroom floor. What was funny was another child said. "Girl, you have gone crazy. Ms. Green has on her tennis shoes today."

See, my demons are learning to THINK!! I am so proud.

OK here we go. So.... some kids are eating pizza other kids are having a math lesson and Miss Thing is on the floor screaming 'no'. Well, more like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I am looking at her like she is the little girl from The Exorcist. Any minute now she is gonna spit out pea soup. Since we are Black, it will be black eye pea soup...with hog maws.

After about 10 minutes of this I have had enough. So have the other kids in the class. I walk over to her and in my best teacher voice tell her to "get up, and calm down". She screams. Not a regular scream but this primal thing. Like she was Tarzan in the jungle calling for the elephants to come help her with the 'whiteman'. All I need was a damn vine in the room so she could swing over the rafters.

I decide to call her grandfather, who just so happens to work at a school pretty close by. I love this man. All he said was "Gimme 5 minutes". Miss Thing is none to happy about this and grabs me by the leg. I shake her off. Then she gets up and start to kick at me! OK, truly she is now lost her rabbit ass mind!

To keep her off me, I take her by her wrist. She is still writhing and shaking and kicking. The school secretary walks by and gives me this 'whatdaphuck' look. I ask her to get security and guess who come barreling down the hall.

Yep, Principal.

At this point I knew things were going downhill. She takes Miss Thing by the wrist and lets her fall to the floor. She lays there like a noodle. Then the conversations begins.

Principal: Is she upset about something?

Me: Uh, yeah.

Another one of those Fool-A questions. I am sure asking the obvious is a tactic that this woman has mastered. I am not really sure what this tactic is supposed to accomplish, but this woman is truly a pro. I explained the situation and principal started to walk around like she was helping with the lesson. "We should just ignore her". Another winning tactic.

Just then, her grandfather comes to the door. The funny part is that all I saw was his head peep in the door and Miss Thing fly out. 'Don't worry. I got this!'

SEE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT!!

I thought that Principal would leave after this. But we start another conversation (sigh):

Principal: If you remember from psychology, children who have tantrums only want

your attention.

Me: Really?! (ya kidding, right)

Principal: So if we ignore the situation, she will just start to come around.

Me: Yep...but I think she probably laid there more because she was tired from kicking me all in the leg with those Buster Browns she's wearing. I will ignore her and the pain in my leg next time.

About 15 minutes later, grandpa and Miss Thing came back. Grandpa looked a bit winded. Miss Thing on the other hand had a WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE!

See, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!

Makes Me Wanna Holla!!

OK this morning I woke up hot, mad, and upset. I think it was sort of a delayed reaction from last night. That, and the fact that I think I am catching whatever 'ick' hubby has had for the last few days.

I can feel myself slowly losing steam...I will be sick by tonight. To combat that ill feeling I decided I would try a healthy breakfast...for me that was a Kashi bar and some kool-aid. Don't trip!1 The Kool-aid was sugar free. I needed the damn kool-aid because the Kashi bar had to be nothing more that dirt, rocks, and grass held together by some honey. I felt like a cow grazing this morning. And not one of those cute Chik-fil-a cows either.

Anyway....I am MAD!

Parent's Night was last night and I had a WHOPPING 4 parents show up. I would think that you would make it your business to come see what is going on with your child. Oh, but I forget. They are MY children. My bad. I happen to have a little girl in my class (the glue eater) whose brother I had last year. Her mom came in last night and she just started going off on me in front of the one other parent I had in the room last night. Yeah, so I am happy she showed up! Her son, one of the many same named children I had last year, was not the best and the brightest. He was ok and dim. Actually, the baby's bulb hit a short a while back. He was incredibly low...very low. He really should have been in kindergarten, but since he stood damn near to my shoulder that just was not happening. He is the most pleasant child I have ever met, however not the smartest. I guess being dumb and mean would just be an awful fate. God doesn't even have that kind of a sense of humor. This kid has a smile that just warms your heart. That smile and $1 will get him a cup of coffee someday.

So here is where the fun starts:

Fool Ass Parent: J isn't learning anything in that class. He should have been retained. Why
didn't you retain him? You knew he can't do second grade work.

Now you have to be a certain kind of professional and I wanted to be just that for my OTHER parent. I really thought this chicks locks were too tight and she had lost her fool mind saying some mess to me like that...especially in front of another parent.

Me: Well, remeber we talked about his progress last year. (See, still trying to be
polite and professioal. Good Girl)

FAP: Well, you should have know that he would not do well. Why didn't you have
him tested last year? (AW HELL NAW!!)

Me: You didn't want it. He had tutors and after school programs. You said he
would go to a program this summer.

FAP: But it was your job to make sure he was ready. (Oh no she didn't!)


Click...Game On!


Me: This is odd because I remember a lot of calls to you last year.
I did not even meet you until the end of the school year. Remember how you
said that you did not want him to be held back because it would just crush
him because your baby daddy had just got shot? Remember, I asked if he
needed some counciling so that I could arrange it with the school. Remeber
just how bad YOU wanted him to go on? Remember I told you I could not
find his papers and then relized that he did not know how to spell his name?
Oh, but your worked with him every night? Remember? Please. Get him
help. Stop blaming the teachers.

FAP: Well, you still should have gotten him tested. (Ain't that a bitch?)

Me: You need testing.


See, that's that bullshit right there!

So this morning the daughter comes to class. This baby is one glazed short of a dozen and needs all the help she can muster. She also cannot see. I am blind, but this baby beats me. She has worn her glasses to school all of 1 day. I guess if I were her I would not want to wear them either. They are thick. She can burn someone if she turns her head the wrong way on a sunny day. Today she came to school with the most beautiful Three Princesses backback...WITH NOT A DAMN THING IN IT!

I called her mom.

Me: Baby girl does not have anything in her bag and does not have her glasses.

FAP: OOH, Girl, I forgot to check her bag last night. (WHAT!!)

This is mess I am talking about. I see her at the retention meetings this year.

What Happens When Your Mind Wanders...

I'll tell you what happens...you think of some really weird stuff!

First off, tonight is Parent's Night. My school makes a really big deal of it, which I guess we should. You get to meet the folk who spawned the demons in your class. Nothing like finding out a child's demon lineage. Historically, I have not had a lot of parents attend Open House. And, I guess that is the reason why I tend to dread it coming. It just makes for a LONG day. We have to be here by 8:15 am and I probably won't get out of here until after 7. I may see 3 parents, and usually it is not the parents that I want to see. The parents of my good students will be here. Hell, I don't need to see them, I need to see the parents of my special babies and my Super Demons. Maybe those parents are just too embarassed. I guess I would be too.

Next on my mind is home schooling. Just don't jack your child up with this. If you are stupid you should not keep your child home just marinating in stupidty with you.

Case in point.

I had a parent tell me not too long ago that she felt she needed to home school her child because he was not getting enough attention in the classroom. Whadaphuck? I wanted to tell her that he got all my attention. Hell, I spent most of my day saying "Stop, boy"..."Quit, child". He gets more attention that the average child. And then I thought, "This chick really isn't too bright her damn self. If she homeschooled her fool child it would be like the dumb leading the stupid". I am scared!! Think about it. The fools that I am teaching now will be the people taking care of me when I am old! I can say this: when I am old if I see one of these nuts in the nursing home I will either 1) get on my hover round and get out of there as fast as I can (which in a Hover Round is a good 3 miles and hour) or 2) I will make sure to leave them an extra special mess in my Depends. Yeah, I think I am going with option 2.


Some of my old students came by my class today. It is amazing how much they have grown since first grade. I took a good look at them and I relized that they are all beautiful girls and they are all named after their dads. Now there isn't anything wrong with a baby daddy name, but you have to be careful. You really need to take a good look at yourself and your baby and make sure that your girl will be cute. You must be honest with yourself. For example, the girls I am talking about have the names Allanah (Allan), Kennisha (Kenneth), and Darryl ( her daddy's name is Darryl, I am sure you guessed that.... DUH!) they are just the cutest girls you ever want to meet. AND THEN...there is this baby in my class. I have talked about her before, she eats glue and is special. She too has a baby daddy name and it is so unique I am not going to put it here to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. This baby has a 50/50 chance of growing up to be a sewerwolf. That name is just not going to add to her popularity in high school. Watch what you name your children, people! Giving your goatmonkey a girlie name is not helping her situation!

Parents night is about to start in a bit. I need to go meditate.

I'm sad today...

...and not just because it is Parent's Night and I will have to be here until all hours. And not just because I know at some point today someone is going to ask me another fool ass question. My mother called me last night and asked me if I would consider being the POA for my grandfather. This caught me off guard. He really does not need a POA (Power of Attorney) or so I thought.

Seems that a couple days ago he was put in the hospital. He is now in intensive care. Of course, this is major but it holds and extra level of sadness for me. According to Mommmie he is halucinating and calling out my grandmother as if she were in the room.

My grandmother died 6 months ago.

They were married 60 years. That is a lifetime...more than a lifetime. I know that if I lost my husband who I've only been married to 3 years, I wouldn't know just what to do. I can't imagine living your whole life with someone and then all of a suddent they are no longer around. I think his illness is more an overwhelming feeling of "alone".

All that said I have been thinking about him all night. After having lost my grandmother such a short time back, I really don't know how I would handle losing him, too. We are an odd family. We all look exactly alike to the point where I have been stopped in public places and asked if I was realted to...well, here you can insert any member of my family because I think I have been asked about them all. Being in Miami really makes me sad sometimes because most days I feel like I am away from everyone and everything that I know. More often than not I feel lost. My grandmother's house was a family meeting ground. Most Sunday's if you wanted to find someone in my family, we knew to just head over to Grandma's. We would eat and talk. And, since I come honest with my siliness, we would all just laugh. It's hard not doing that anymore.

It's just hard being here. Especially, during times. like this. I feel like my students on the first day of school. I want to go home.


So today, as I fight my demons and deal with my parents I will keep this bit of sadness in my heart.

You know sometimes you just have to face the TRUTH!

...And my truth is that some, maybe most of the children in my class are 'Special' and not in that good Mr. Rogers kinda way. I have one little girl that I believe deep in my heart needs some special help. I mean hell, she eats glue. I have a couple kids who really aren't bad students they just act an ass at school. After meeting some of their parents, I realize that they got that way genetically. Again, two F people cannot produce and A child.

Since this is public school, I am unable to have the children pray and I am unable to lay hands on them (not in the spiritual way...). So I tell the children instead to send each other good thoughts. OK when they do this it still looks like they are praying for each other because they put their hands out almost like we do at church. Secrectly, I am saying a little prayer while they are doing this. God, Allah, Buddah, or any of the Latter Day Saints are completely welcome to come into my class and help me with these demons.


OH YEAH...

Remeber how I said folk here ask dumb ass questions? Well, today during my lunch break, I went home to see my sick hubby (he has a bad cold, you know men cannot function when they have a cold and I wanted to make sure those 2 shots of Nyquil I gave him before I left home had only put him to sleep for a few hours not permanently), had my students pictures developed for their Parent's Night project, and managed to grab a quick snack for lunch. In my rush to do all this I left my classroom keys on my desk and the door locked. I went to the office to get the spare key and since there was no one to watch my demons, I brought them with me.

The Principal was in the office (here's where it goes all to be damned).


I asked the secrectary if I could use the spare key. Then the following conversation happened. It cought me completely off guard:

Principal: Wow! What a great class!!

Kids: Thank you. (See, I teach the demons to be polite demons)

Principal: Are you locked out?

Me: (sigh) I sure am.

Principal: Do you have a key?

Now really, what kinda fool ass question is this? What am I suppsed to say? Of course I have a key! I have been going into the same room every morning for the last 3 years. Unless I have superpowers and I can beam myself in the room each morning I have a key. Maybe from my lack of lunch break I have lost enough weight to where I can just slide under the damn door each morning! I started scratching my shoulder because I did not want to tell her what was on my mind: "No, I don't have a key. I usually open the door with my overgrown big toenail, but since I got that pedicure this weekend, I just have not had the toe power I usually do." The people in the office were unusually quiet during this exchange. I am sure they were waiting to see just what I would say. I got the key, shook my head and left, demons in tow.

This place is crazy.

This is Nutsz...

My thinking is WAY different from the average person's. Let me clarify that...I think it is different from the average MAN. My husband tells me all the time that I overthink everything. This week, I have determined that he just might be right. Most shit that I over think isn't even my damn business.


Case in point...


I have spent a good part of the week talking with a really good friend of mine. He and I have known each other for some time and I think we are really close. We have that brother/sister type thing that most folk don't understand and sometimes try to insinuate is more physical. He and the hubby get along which is great and because he needed some 'Me Time" a la Heather Headley, he came to visit us for the week. This is cool. I felt he needed to get some things off his chest and I am sure he did also. Anyway, during this visit he had this ephany that he really wanted to get his family back and had made the decision that he would work hard to get his wife and children back in his life. After a long military marriage, they had called it quits. I am guessing from too much time away from each other.

Anyway, as I sat and listened to him, I was happy that he had finaly set his sights on what he wanted. He had gone through a couple of relationships since his divorce that made me really wonder just what was going on in his head. This new outlook was a breath of fresh air.

AND THEN...

As our time went on, I noticed that he was still really flirtatious and had even spent time with a friend of ours that looked a little more than friendly. It made me think...I had a ridiculously long relationship with a man that I just knew I would marry and spend my life with. We broke up over some foolishness and I spend quite a bit of time sobbing over the end of our relationship. I did the usual woman stuff: stopped eating, couldn't get out of bed...in short after about a week or three of this I looked like a crackhead. A Diva crackhead, but a crackhead nonetheless! Then I decided I wanted him back. And, for awhile, I was DETERMINED to get him back. Now when I was at that point the Y was closed down. I was not feeling anyone else. I had myself aimed at just that one person. I did not see this in my friend and for some reason it made me mad. Why? Not quite sure, but I think I began thinking if this person can say how much they love someone and it seem so wholehearted, but they are still looking for a Jody Watley new love anyway, how serious can they be about want someone back so badly?

Then I thoought of my husband. He is a true romantic. He tells me he loves me often. When he is not with me, is he out romancting the stone with someone else? Does she think he loves her as much as I think he loves me? So I went to the source. Hubby. He told me that men think differently than women and although our buddy wants his wife back, that does not mean that he does not have desires and urges in the meantime. OK...makes sense. So I thought about that thing somemore and...

Hell, that mess did not make a lick of sense to me!!So I asked friend and low and behold he gave the SAME answer.

So maybe men do think like that. They have the ability to let their feeling be split in two. AMAZING!

I guess everyone has their own way of protecting their heart. Men and women are truly Mar and Venus. I am still confused and still thinking this thing through.

I Love My Husband Though, FOR REAL

My husband, though he hates to admit it, gets this far away look when he sees Halle Berry or Beyonce. I really do not take offense to it because 1) he is a man and men look and 2) hell, if I could look like Halle or Beyonce I would. But just to keep the playing fields fair, I have my own play-play baby daddy. Reggie Bush has to be the finest thing that has come out of USC since....well, since EVER. I understand that he dates Nia Long who is roughly my age and that only adds to my daydream. He likes older women...hell, I am an older woman.

I'm in there!!

Lord, thanks for the sign...

My partner in all crimes legal tells me that sometimes God sends you a sign when you really need it. She sometimes has this Erykah Badu kinda spirituality going and sometimes I listen. Today, I realized that this is true. It must be, because I was on my way out the door this morning. I had planned on just how many ways I was gonna tell these folk to kiss my Black Ass as I walked up out this camp. I had even considered learning how to say it in Japanese just because I thought it would have a kick to it.

So this morning I am called into the AP's office. As I walked over there I immediately began doing what I always do when she called me over: trying to figure out just what I did that would get me fired.

This time was different. There was a table full of people with papers all looking really serious. AW DAYUMN!! I have done some stuff this time. I just new I was out the door. Then I realized that I did not know the child sitting at the end of the table. "OK...this is good." I thought, because you just can't get in trouble over a child you don't know.

Turns out I am getting a new student. This child is special. He is 6 years old and have never attended school before. The reason is because they never thought he would live to be six. Cedric has been in the hospital since he was a baby and has had 5 organs transplanted. FIVE!! Can you even imagine being that young and going through all that. He has always had a feeding tube. He had to go to therapy to learn how to chew and swallow. Can you imagine?!! He still wears a backpack that connects to a tube in his stomach so that he can eat. He has to have a nurse with him at all times. And he is only allowed school for 3 hours a day. And he WANTS TO COME.
So, I got to thinking...all the things that bother me really aren't all that serious. Think of how strong this child is. At this age he has beaten the odds. He should not even be alive and he wants to come to learn and be with other children. He was so excited about starting school. I took him on a little tour of the school and the class so that he could get out of that stuffy room for a bit. He told me all about being at home and being in the hospital and how he could not wait to get started. When we went to my class to meet the other kids, he squeezed me hand. HARD!! I never thought about how frightened he must be. Even with the fright, he wanted to start today. When I told him he could not start until next week, his face softened. "I'll see you then and I'll be ready."

So I guess I need to be ready,too.

OK Here's an Idea....

Stop irritating your child's teacher with dumb shit and buy your child some dayumn school supplies!!
It never cease to amaze me how shallow people are when it comes to their child's education. To be fair it is not everyone, but it seems to be a skewed amount of parents at my school. Of course we have those that are involved and make sure that everything is completed. But then we have those that just don't give a damn or give a damn about the wrong thing.

For example, this morning I had a parent come to the door about 10 minutes late for school. This is nothing new because he is 10 minutes late each morning. Each morning I send him to the office for a tardy slip. It has become routine. This morning his habitually 10 minute late mother tells me in an abrupt voice (and I am changing the name to protect the guilty and the innocent) "When J goes to the cafeteria, you need to let him wear his sweater." Now, I never tell my kids when or when not to wear a sweater because I know at times that it cold in the class. Me, being the queen of cold, always have a sweater or jacket. Anyway, I explained that he can wear his sweater anytime he wants to.

Now read the previous post. Parents here already know the answer, their idea is to try to catch you in a lie. She says, when you guys were at the full service yesterday he did not have a sweater. I corrected her: "yes he did". As a matter of fact I had to tell him several times to stop playing with it while they were in line. "Oh" she said. Then she went on: " well you had them out in the rain". A Diva such as myself would never be out in the rain on purpose. Not to mention I had on my cute Gucci loafers. It is just not like me to be all up out in the elements like that. Just why would I do a fool thing like that? We happened to be at the nurses' office on the other side of the school and it started to rain as we were walking back. But when little J got home, the story must have switched. Then she gives me this speech about him getting sick each time he is wet and she has to get off work.

WHATEVER CHICA!!

See it is foolishness just like this that make me wanna quit this camp on a daily basis.

Anyway, after she left, we start on a class project and I realize that most of my students do not have the supplies they need to complete the project. Here it is the FIFTH week of school and you are still sending your kids to school with an empty, albeit new, backpack. I just got furious. It amazes me that as a people we are worried so much about how our children are dressed and almost nothing about their education. I know sometimes you have to LOOK the part, but damn sometimes you have to KNOW the damn part too. So I gave each of my students EVERY supply they need. So yeah...I had to come out of pocket which puts a damn debt in the Diva Maintenance Fund. But here's the thing..why should I have to be responsible for YOUR child? As a parent I would think that you would WANT to make sure they had all they need...that they were prepared, especially if YOU are not prepared. Mind you, most of my kids come to school in uniform, but they have on the latest kicks. Some of the parents even REFUSE to have their child in uniform because they say that it cramps their children's style. So they are GQ, just with no pencil or paper. I refuse to buy anything else. Once they run out of what I gave them, if their parents don't restock....they will just fail the assignments. Maybe that will get someone to come in an help.

What a Great Weekend!

I had a GREAT weekend. Weekends to me are great when you spend them with people you love and with company that keeps you laughing. I get tired of drama. My week is so stressful that I when I have time away, I just like to sit and think and rest and above all....LAUGH.

This weekend was just perfect. We started off the weekend eating a what is becoming one of my favorite resturants. Actually, I really go to this place for the dessert: toasted poundcake! How can you go wrong with something as perfect as warm toasty cake with homemade ice cream? DEE-Lish! We spent the rest of the weekend with friends from out of town just laughing and having a really great time. Of course, my partner in crime was with me all the way! Jess is becoming the resident photographer of the group. Her website has all the pics!

We went to the Southern/BCC game this weekend and were big timing it in one of the box seats. To me, this was a once in a lifetime experience because when will I get to be ina box seat again. This was no time for my usual jeans and t-shirt. Oh no!1 Me and Jess glammed it up in our best shoes. I am glad we had the good seats because it was quite the walk from the car to get there. LOL. So much happened this weekend, I just don't know where to start or just want to leave out. It was just a good relaxing time.


Then I had to come back to work. DAYUMN!!

Let' Go Wildcats....

My husband attended Bethune Cookman College (BCC). He was one of those all around folk...good student....in the band. All that fun college stuff. I, on the other hand attended his rival school. This makes for some fun conversation in my house. Today we are going to a football game where is alma mater is playing a school neither of us attended. Just for the fun of it (he does not know this yet) I am going to cheer for the other team. I am sure this will not last too long, but it should make for some shits and giggles at this game. I must admit, the school's band it FAB!! And it will be hard for me not to move my grove thing while they are playing, but the look on his face will be priceless.


If I don't instantly combust from the look of death he is sure to give me, I let ya know how the game went.

Ya Ever Wonder?

OK so I took those 2 days off that I pondered over for so long. I know I am going to have to hear some shit when I get back to work, but so far this impromptu vacation has been well worth it.

Yesterday I spend the afternoon with my niece. It was a weird feeling to be back at my old highschool to pick her up. We went to the mall and then to see Idlewild. It is really scary how much that child is like her Aunt. All the way down to being really silly sometimes. Before going to the movie we stopped to have milkshakes with my mom. That was a treat for us both since we rarely see my mom since her move to Mississippi. So after talking with her we headed to the movies. We decided that it would be smart move to go to the restroom before the movie started (obviously small bladders run in the family). I followed her into the restroom without looking at the sign because hell, who would think that an honor student in private school would not know what bathroom to go in. Anyway...as we walk in we notice the urinals on the wall. You would think one of us would have just broke up outta there, but instead we just stood there and looked d confused. "What the hell kinda woman uses this mess?' I said to her. She, with what must be the family look of confusion on her face said " I don't know Aunt. That is strange." And we KEEP going to the stalls. At the same time it hit us...Ok we must have made a mistake and we went running out of bathroom and almost dove into the adjacent ladies room. I am sure some kinda movie security has that foolishness on camera.


Since I have been home I have had a chance to catch up on all the websites I usually don't get a chance to look at while I am working. It is some sadness out in the world. This picture of Aretha is and example of the sadness. Who the hell let her out like this. It is one of my biggest fears that I will look like this as I get old. I really should call Aretha and tell her that she has inspired me to put down the chips and get on a Janet Jackson plan. This mess here is just too much.

Surviving the Storm

I ran all the way home to escape a hurricane that seems to be no more that a good amount of rain, which is what Miami gets on a daily basis. The sad things is that I am really not mad about it. I am also not going to work for the rest of this week because I simply do not feel like the drive back. I could fly since the weather will be fine, I just don't want too. What would be wrong with me just staying here. I read this article yesterday that on big decisions, you should ask yourself questions in 10-10-10. Meaning what would happen in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.

In 10 minutes I would panic. I have never NOT worked before. There was that brief time right after my wedding and I thought I would die. In 10 minutes my husband would be happy because he wants me to stop working and concentrate on having a family with him. In my old age it is something I need to work on.

In 10 months, I would have gone back to school. Probably learned to relax. Grabbed my travel partener and made her go places she really did not want to. I would probably have relaxed enough to have gotten pregnant. If not, I think I would have at least made some positive changes to my work.


In 10 years, I would look back and say that I enjoyed that time off.

Logically, I should stay here.

School is Out!!

It is really sad when I am happy because a natural disaster is coming my way! We are expecting a hurricane to hit Tuesday or Wednesday. So school is out for 2 days. Now, I know it is bad to say that I am happy I won't have to be here, but hell, I am HAPPY I won't have to BE here with these damn crakhead children. I am actually happy to be stuck in my house with no air or TV. Right now that sounds like complete bliss compared to where I am now. Then again, check in a couple days when the Diva has decided that she needs to watch something on tv or do something totally trivial...like bathe.

There is one child in my class that I try not to be too hard on because his home story is like something from a Stephen King novel. I try to give him a little extra love and attention, but all he gives me is an ulcer. My husband told me to quit. I just would feel so guilty leaving the kids...but it has been only 3 weeks. They really would get over it. I guess I have these two days home to make a decision! If I go by how I feel right now, my time here is DONE.

OK....Let me just clarify....

That is not me standing next to MJB in the picture. That is the owner of Carol's Daughter. She and MJB had a meet and greet at a Sephora here in Miami. They are two of my favorite people. Her products are INCREDIBLE! Now the only thing is that I am not quite sure why neither of them decided they wanted to spruce up for this event? Geewhiz...they both looked like they just hopped out of bed and kept steepping to the event. Wow!

MJB

I went to the Mary J. Blidge concert this weekend and I believe that if she is anywhere within a one state radius of where I live I will go again. That woman has a powerful voice. I always knew I enjoyed her music but live she is AMAZING. She has true control of the audience and makes you feel like she happens to be a girlfriend that you are hanging out with and just talking about life.

The funny thing is that the brother's were feeling it too. The just did not want to admit it. I guess the idea was to bring their dates with them in the hopes of getting a coochie credit for later use. We sat next to this guy who wanted to be tough in his Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon shirt. Ever so often a song would hit him and he would jump up only to quickly sit down, fold his arms and look around. Finally, MJB sang "Be Without You" and he just could not hold it in anymore!1 He jumped up and strted singing that song like he was in the damn video. He went straight Antwan in zero to sixty!!

I wonder if he lost any coochie credits for that?

I had a meeting this morning with the crackhead mom of one of my most crackheaded children. See, yesterday this little boy comes to tell me that some kid knocked him in the mouth and his teeth were loose. Now, as much as these kids get on my last nerve, Mother Hen will rear her head and set out to find who knocked my crackbaby in the mouth. He told me it was a boy in another class whose name started with the letter "F". Considering the fact that my school has about 45 classes for him to tell me that he only knows the first name was not helping. "Was he bigger than you?" I asked thinking that it may have been a kid in the older classes. I am not sure what the hell I was thinking because that still would not narrow it down. Not to mention this school has a lot of Haitian and Hispanic students, so with all French names that begin with "F" I was just gonna be sunk if he could not give more detail.
(OK, I don't know who this fool in the picture is, but I thought he was the epitome of crackheadedness so your can feel my pain...WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS HE WEARING! keep reading y'all)

I was really gonna just let this whole mess go because he was not hurt and seemed to be able to function HOWEVER...I had to call his mom because while we were at our hearing exam he hit another student. According to our administration we have a no tolerance policy for hitting and I really thought reporting this would lead to me have 1 blissfull day without this nut. BUT OH HELL NAW, BOBBY...Mommy wants to discuss him and this tooth. She tells me that the other child is in room 3 and she wants me to set up a meeting with him and his mother and the guidance counselor. Can you believe this shit?! Now, I must admit that the kid is bigger that crackbaby, but he is in the room RIGHT NEXT DOOR. How did you not know where this child was? They eat at the same time, go to many of the same activities at the same time. How the hell don't you know who that is? The funny thing is that he was right on 2 things...his is bigger than him and his name does begin with F. Sadly, he could not tell me the name because it is an odd hard name and the child has a lisp. Plus he has 2 loose teeth! HA! She kept going on how no one should hit her child and I am looking at the phone like, "Heffa, you have really lost your damn mind!"

Anyway, suffice it to say that she, the other mother, the two crackbabies and the VP and I all meet this morning to discuss the situation. During the meeting, the mom keeps talking about how much she works with this fool at home. Just to see if she was telling the truth, I decided to ask her if she had received the notices I send home each Friday. "No" how about the fact that he has not turned in the homework this week " I thought it was due on Friday".

Ain't this a bitch?

It says right on the homework pack FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS. That assignments are due daily. So it is official, she and her son, cannot read and comprehend. She even said that she wanted to home school him. He would end up dumber than he is now. The VP on the sly told her that he child had to have some kinda emotional handicap because she nor he really could not be that dumb. She responded by saying that she had medicare and she was not sure.

Sigh....pray for my people,OK?!!!

I have been mad this whole week. I need to get over it. Naw, I can't. See folk at my school feel they can talk AT you any old kinda way. Now see normally, I am a happy go lucky. I let most things slide off my back. I would rather laugh than have a bad moment.

However.....these bitches around here do not play fair!!

I have been known to loose my temper. I have learned over the years when to hold things in and think before speaking. I am losing that skill. The next time one of these people talk all out the side of their neck with some foolishness then I am gonna go NUCLEAR. If you see a mushroom cloud in the horizon, it ain't Taliban it is ME.

It's been a long time...I shouldn'ta left ya....

So it has been a few days since I have posted anything on this site. Quite frankly the only reason is because the children are so dayumn hard to deal with. The parents are harder. I work at a school that has leaped from a D to an A in 3 years. It has taken a lot of hard work, but it has really paid off.

The sad part is the parents.

Something is wrong with these Black folk in Miami. I am really starting to believe it is the heat.

Sadly, Black folk want all the riches that other races have, but for the most part we don't want the work that is involved. I am lucky to work with my grade level. We work together and everyone is concerned about making sure our kids are ready for the next grade level. It is hard. We have to raise voices and challenge the kids more than they expect.

As Will Smith said...'parents just don't understand'. One of my co-teachers came into my room today hot, mad and upset. A parent has told her that the homework that we are giving is too hard. What's really funny is we have not started giving first grade homework yet. We are giving a kindergarten review. Anyway, chica has come up to the school raising all kinds of hell because she says that the work is too hard.

Ain't that a bitch?!

What is she going to do next week when we really get into it? Now, at the end of the year she will be the FIRST one crying that her child did not learn anything. I am sure after they meet with the principal this afternoon, she is going to ask For her child to be switched to another class. It would be in her best interest that it is not my classroom. I really don't have time for the foolishness.

For example, I had one of my students bow up on me. If you are not from down South, you may not know what the hell bow up means. This little knucklehead actually put his hands up and jerk at me like we were going to fight. I mean he was in a stance like he was gonna go all Sugar Ray on a girl. I was amazed. At that point, I had to prove myself. If he got away with this my whole class would be crazy within minutes. So I looked him straight in the face an told him, "BEST BELIEVE I WILL TUSSLE WITH A 6 YEAR OLD!!". He looked at me like I was crazy as did the other teachers in the hall and my students. But don't get it twisted, that he got his little tail back in line with the quickness. With his finger over his lip. And we have not had a problem since.

F + F = A Hell Naw!!

I think there must be a joke in the front office. Each year I get children who have names that rhyme. Last year I had 3 kids with the same name....the only difference is that their parents were really creative with the spelling. This year the names just rhyme....Jahmali and Kamarley. I spend my whole day calling these poor children the wrong name.

Sometimes you learn things while teaching. Things that never really occurred to you. For example, why do people add a prefix or suffix to a perfectly good name. LaTisha when Tisha is a fine name. ShaTonya...why? And adding a Sha, La, or isha to your baby daddy name is not the joint. LaRonaldka is not and never will be a cute name. And why have black folk taken the ' mark and just run with it. Not only do the names have these unnecessary add-on they are also spelled in some foreign language. Example: R'reahyl (Ariel). See how damn unnecessary that is? We have to be so different to the point that we look ignorant. I can just see that child send in a resume and it being thrown away because the employer thought there was a typo on it. Every year I have spent at least 30 minutes with the teachers on my grade level trying to figure out some of the kids names. Sometimes phonetics does not even work. It is sad. Go today and find a black woman and tell her that she needs to come up with a normal baby name. On second thought don't. She will kick your ass.


And why do two folk who think know they were F students get together. If you are an if (and you know that you are c'mon) you cannot get with another F and try to make an A baby. The most you can probably do (and that is with the help of a lot of recessive genes) is to get a D. Maybe even a low C. I have a couple parents who are F- and they really do not understand why their child is not making it. Look it is just the first couple days of school and their for Pete's sake is first grade. Why the hell am I getting homework back where parents are saying they don't understand. Again folk.....F + F will never equal A.

Much Like Destiny's Child....

I am a survivor!! Today was the first day of school and it went rather smoothly. Actually, smoother than I anticipated. This year I don't have a lot of kids with names that I can't pronounce, although a couple of them have names that can't possibly be pronounced the way they are spelled. Sad thing is this is usually the kid that can't read. If you give your child a name that has no vowels you can't possibly think they will learn phonics. I have one little boy that looks like he was attacked by ticks and fleas over the summer. He will have to get my attention from afar. I don't know what the hell is going on with him. Not to mention he is still scratching which makes me scratch, and well....You get the idea.

BTW...The air was working when I got in this morning. I have never been this happy before, because I just knew that I would be sweating like a pig all day.


Thoughts for Today: I am a reality show junkie...I love them. If you have some folk on an island or if you are in love with a washed out rap start or 70's tv show co-star, I'm watching. So did you see that mess on Flava of Love last night?! Forget that he has a harem of hoochies. Forget that I don't know if I am to be mad at the white girl who thinks she is from the hood (Brooklyn) and speak ebonics better that Ray Ray and them. What about girl that shit in her pants while standing in a group? She said it just came out. My friend this morning had to tell me that she picked it up and then DROPPED it trying to carry it up the steps. Now just how damn nasty can you be. My Lawd!!

I thought I would never say this but...

I am in love with the new AC Dude!! He is serious about getting some kinda air circulating in this room!1 I can't wait to feel the cool air on Monday.

Hot, Mad and Upset

Today is DAY 7 with NO AIR!

Ya know....I really should win employee of the month or at least get a free cheese pizza a Chuck E. Cheese for this. I don't think anyone here truly understands that for me this is working in a hostile environment. Luckily one of the kindergarten teachers was going thru the change last year and she had a fan in her room. She was kind enough to let me borrow it. I have decided that I am gonna get right with Jesus because hell is 2 degrees cooler than this room. I just can't spend eternity like this.

BREAKING NEWS!!! The principal just came in with two men from the school board behind her. When I have been saying there is no air conditioners in my room she heard that the units were not working. I think someone put a little bug in her ear that the units were taken out of the room. Dude that came in was hispanic and I think he felt my Black woman pain of having no air in a room full of 6 year old. Problem should be solved by Monday. HAL-A-LOO-JAH! Praise Him!

So far I have had 2 parents to show up. One child was not even registered for my class. She is now in my class. So I am up to 20 kids for Monday. I have a teacher on my team with only 12 kids. I really don't understand them adding folk to my room when chica only has a dozen. rumor is no one wants their child in her class and they have allowed parents to request certain teachers. See, now I am all caught up like Usher because I don't know whether to be flattered or to be mad that she gets away with that mess. Yesterday, she mentioned again how she was so upset that she only had 4 girls in her class...I had to give her the 'bitch please' face and walk away. In my next life I am coming back as a white woman because they have truly figured out how to get their way. That's a gift.

Too Hot to Handle

Today is day 6 with no air conditioning in my classroom. It is making me cranky and I am sure that sometime over the weekend I am going to be sick. I tend to leave my hot ass classroom to attend a meeting in a room that is too cold, or I will try to take refuge in another cool room just at the point I think I am about to die of heat stroke. This is ridiculous!

Today we had the opening of school meeting...I should say we are still having it becasue we took a break to allow some of our admin to attend a luncheon with one of our teachers who has an excellent chance of becoming Teacher of theYear. As happy as I am for her I cannot help being consumed with envy as she sits in a nice cool room having lunch and I burn in hell in this classroom.

Why don't you just leave or sit somewhere else? Good question!

I have too much stuff to do to be really ready by Monday. This is ridiculous.

Too Bootylicicous For Ya...

Being the fashionista that I claim to be, I bought this pair of House of Dereon jeans. The ones that Beyonce and her mom make. Well, they are really probably made by some 10 year old girls in a thrid world county who only make 2 cents an hour, but you get the idea. I have to admit that although the stuff on her sight is usually unattractive the jeans are the funk! If you have a little sista in your behind you need to spend the money for these. If you are like me, you would find a spot that has them on sale.

Anyway, one of the teachers here ( I will talk about this chica in more detail as days go by because I think something is wrong and I have not been able to figure out just what yet) grabbed me by the beltloop yesterday (!!!!!!) and said "These are the jeans I was telling you about that were in Macy's. I bought a pair." She was excited. I was confused and stunned that this grown ass woman had just tugged me by the belt loop in the school office no less. It is the beginging of the school year and I am really trying to start this year out right by not cursing as many folk out as I did last year (this particular person took up about a good 60% of last year's cuss-outs). I said "Oh really" and decided I would head on to my classroom. She then says, "But mine don't fit right," (whacusay?!) "they are really saggy in the bottom." Yes, she said bottom. I told her that the reason they would not fit her right is because they were made for women with butts, buduncadunks, asses and behinds, of which she had none of the above. She laughed and asked if I was serious. "Yeah!" So then she said what am I to do with them? "Take 'em back." She gives me that white woman " I can't believe you said that" look. You would think this would have ended the conversation. But, hell naw, Bobby. She is still talk and I am slowly backing away. At this point she is going on about getting them to fit and that of course the Lord could not have given her legs and boobs and an ass (help me not laugh at her Lord. You obviously take care of fools and babys and this one is no baby). I told her she would need to do the same thing that Black women have done for years: MAKE IT WORK and stop the bitchin'.

It is gonna be a long school year.

AC Dude Update: He is taking the units out of the room now!! Sadly, he will not bring them back to the end of the week. It is gonna BAKE in this room!!